Been reading about a website where you go to sell gifts from (ex) loved ones.  No,  don’t get all judgemental on me.  We’ve all been there – cooing fondly over pressies that seemed so cute in the fog of romance, but quickly turn to tack in the cold light of break-up.  A mountain of mugs, mix tapes, soap-on-a-ropes and Christmas jumpers. ..liberated online to continue their happy cycle of misery and guilt.  It’s the circle of life my friends and it’s a beautiful thing. Of course it’s the thought that ... Read More

I don’t know about you, but I’m a natural Eeyore. My glass is often half-empty – even when there’s plenty of drinking left. Tiggers – (like my husband), leave me dizzy and bewildered.  All that joy and bounce – there’s simply no need. Yet all too often, I’ll use my natural disposition as an excuse: justification for acting lumpy.   The thoughts go like this: I’m a melancholy person – not just a misery-guts.  I’m over-burdened: not over-committed.  I’m depressed, rather ... Read More

I’ve just found out that Another friend is pregnant.  (Is there anyone left?!) I’m genuinely pleased for her – it hasn’t been an easy process and she and her hubby will be brilliant parents.  Plus, having gone through that horrible yearning, it’s wonderful to see an end in sight for people I care about. But it’s painful too because I want that to be me – I want to be yelping with delight over the right blue line too! I’m properly pleased for her, but also properly sad for myself. So after the initial congrats and talk, ... Read More

1. ‘Go up you bald head’ (closely followed by sound of munching bear.  Who’s laughing now, sonny?) 2.Samson killing 1000 men with a donkey’s jawbone. As you do. 3. Jezebel painting her face before the dogs eat her. 4.Elijah picking up his skirt and then casually outrunning a chariot. 5. Mary and Joseph losing Jesus for a DAY before realising he’d gone. 6. The disciples: sort of like Bert and Ernie but slower on the uptake. 7. Noah’s ark.  Forget the children’s picture books with the giraffe sticking ... Read More

I was reading an interview yesterday with Susan Boyle, (the singer who won X Factor and was catapulted from ordinary life to worldwide celebrity).  Understandably, Boyle struggled to cope with this transition and her mental health was gleefully discussed and dissected in the media. But more than the time she spent in therapy, I was struck by a phrase she’d learned from her mum: and one that I learned from mine too. ‘Baby steps’. ‘Baby steps’ means a number of things.  Firstly,  take it a little bit at a time. ... Read More

Woke up this morning feeling panicked. Then I read this, from Spurgeon: He will keep the feet of his saints. (1 Samuel 2:9) The way is slippery and our feet are feeble, but the Lord will keep our feet. If we give ourselves up by obedient faith to be His holy ones, He will Himself be our guardian. Not only will He charge His angels to keep us, but He Himself will preserve our goings. He will keep our feet from falling so that we do not defile our garments, wound our souls, and cause the enemy to blaspheme. He will keep our feet from wandering ... Read More

Recently I’ve been feeling somewhat flat. I’ve been waking up with a vague sense of discontent, surreptitiously feeding it and then feeling sorry for myself and wondering why it’s still hanging around. I have, my friends, been coasting.  Treading the water of life and persuading myself I’ll be floating in the same place a few weeks later. Except that it doesn’t work quite like that.  When it comes to my relationship with Jesus, (perhaps as with all relationships), I’m either growing to love him more or ... Read More

Been reading today about a growing trend for twenty-somethings who are fed up with being set up. Parents and friends can be well meaning, but sometimes their efforts ‘on your behalf’ may leave you wanting to pull out your own eyes and emigrate.  (‘Ooooh – is that the door? Billy-bob – what a surprise! Have you met my single daughter, Mary-ann?  I’ll just pop some Barry White on the stereo and you two can get to know each other…’) I’m exaggerating (slightly).  But  if you’re ... Read More

It’s been a dumpling of a week: one of those swampy, lumpy January bogs that feels like swimming through porridge. Things to do, but no poop for doing ‘em. A series of ever-decreasing circles: grey routines and baggy pants. But that’s quite enough wallowing.  Truth be told, my little rut’s gotten too cosy – time to strap on a rocket and blast out! Here’s The Plan: 1. get the Bible open.  So far I’ve been dipping my toe in a couple of devotionals/sermons (and they’re great), but not enough. ... Read More

I had a good question recently from someone who asked if recovery meant that God simply zapped me better… My initial response to say ‘HA! If only..’  But there’s more to it than that. For one thing,  I’m still in recovery.   Along with many ex-anorexics, I struggle with binge-eating: this beats starving myself, but it’s still looking to food for comfort. I no longer obsess about weight/calories …  but I still have body hang-ups.  Even now, years since I was really unwell, I bear some of the old ... Read More