Can your heart and thinking change as well as your behaviour? Or are you destined to remain a non-practising version of the same old model?
Most of the literature I’ve read on addiction says this: they never really go away – you just get better at managing them.
For some people this is the rational voice of realism: a reminder that no-one is beyond temptation – especially in a familiar guise.
For others, it’s a life sentence. A prophetic shadow that blights the future as well as the past.
But like so much, perhaps addiction – and recovery – are matters of definition.
If addiction is simply behavioural - then recovery, though not easy, starts to look quite neat. An in-house affair. Quick. Achievable. Self-motivated and self-willed. Replacing the old behaviours with something less destructive. Shopping, not drinking. Exercise, not binge-eating.
These new patterns can be improvements. But are they freedom? Or just longer chains?
If hope lies within, then what happens when I lose faith in myself?
I believe that recovery – real recovery, is possible.
I believe that there is hope.
That hope is a Person, not a programme.
It’s more than the shape of my body, it’s the shape of my heart.