Here’s some of my favourites..
- changes in routine.
- meeting new people. Especially in groups (because they Hunt in Packs)
- LOUD NOISES
- changing rooms.
- running out of stuff AND having too much of it. (Yep. All bases covered)
- birthdays, Christmas, valentine’s… anything with prefix to the word ‘day’. (Though night-time can be worrying too)
- flying. Especially with Easyjet. It’s just a matter of time till the wing falls off or we’re hijacked by snakes.
To be honest, I’ve always had a gift for anxiety. Like a scrappy terrier chewing over a juicy rib.
‘Let the worry bone go?’ I don’t think so.
When I obsess about things, I feel like they’re under my control. If I put in the worry hours, ’karma’ will stop them happening.
If I can get through this, I’ll be contented. If I can just pass this exam…then I’ll be at peace. If I can pay off my student loan…if I can get some sleep…if I make it through this week…
Each worry promises to be the last. But before I take a breath, there’s something else. Something really worth losing sleep over.
Who am I without my worries? I’m scared to find out. -
But you know what – I’m scared anyway. Scared and sick of lurching from one anxiety to the next and trying to control the whole world from one baggy little brain.
So what’s the way forward? I have no idea.
Seems to me like all I can do is go back to Jesus and say ‘my head is full. I want to give you this stuff but I don’t know how. Help me – and take from me the things I can’t let go of myself’.
So that’s where I begin. And for the first time in weeks, I start to exhale.