Less Miserables Please

By February 28, 2013 Blog

When it comes to emotions, I’m Opting Out. No Anne Hathaway shaving her head. No monkeys in test-tubes.  No cartoon animals losing their parents. No ‘heart-wrenching but ultimately life-affirming’ stories. Expendable wingman with young wife and blonde daughter. Deputy sheriff taking ‘one last job’. Young mother taking on the establishment. I know your game. Two hours waiting for you to die/loseyourdog/missthetrain/contracttheillness/gethitbytheasteroid. Russell Crowe emoting in my face. My eyes, Russell,  my eyes. I don’t blame Hollywood. My problem is with …Read More

Think About What You Did

By February 27, 2013 Blog

Struggling a bit this week.  We’ve got a fertility appointment on Friday and the whole thing just makes me feel sick and sad and enormously weary. The issues are complicated. (Mind you, I doubt anyone rocks up to this clinic with a simple problem and a simple solution.  ‘You’re banana-deficient: here! Eat this…and may your womb be blessed’). Add in our faith-based treatment qualms and you get a laughing consultant who, at our last appointment, asked if we understood percentages. …Read More

I Can’t Hear You

By February 26, 2013 Blog

Lies of Addiction: 1. Life should be easy and problem-free. Jesus says ‘in this life you will have many troubles’. But instead of trusting Him in them, I turn against Him and feel outraged when this is the case. 2.When challenges occur I need substance/ behaviour X to face it.  Nope.  As a human I’m created to be dependent on Jesus alone. In reality, He’s the one I often run from.  I look to addictions or ‘habits’ to make me …Read More

Disconnected

By February 25, 2013 Blog

How come the more time we spend thinking about our bodies, the more disconnected from them we become? The Oscars are a case in point.  Forget the films: it’s all about the dresses. Waistline over plotline. Botox over box-office. Big bad Hollywood, pimping out its daughters. I’m so disgusted I almost stop scrolling.  But I don’t. I’m blinking back sequins. My eyes are starving and I can’t rip them away. Not that it matters.  These people aren’t real and there’s …Read More

List For Life

By February 24, 2013 Blog

I don’t mean to, but I always seem to miss the moments. I’m in them (physically at least), but my brain has already raced ahead, to the next task, the next worry, the Next Big Thing. That cup of tea I promised myself after cleaning the kitchen? – it’s empty, but I was so preoccupied, I missed the taste. Reminds me of a children’s book by Arnold Lobel called ‘Frog and Toad Together’.  In it, Lobel takes us through a …Read More

I’m a Lover Not A Fighter

By February 22, 2013 Blog

Tomorrow I’m giving an evangelistic talk at a women’s brunch.  Women (especially Christians) and  talks (especially evangelistic ones) scare me. As a result, I’ve spent most of this week: preparing praying procrastinating. On the plus side, I have  plenty of toilet roll and a bath that smells of Arctic Pine. My brain however is empty and a little bit sweaty. I turn to my husband for support: ‘Glen’ (says I ), ‘will you write and erm – deliver my talk?’ Silence. …Read More

Half

By February 21, 2013 Blog

Julia Kozerski is an artist and photographer who uses her body as the canvas. She was extremely overweight and lost half of it in a year by eating sensibly.  Now a healthy weight, she has published a series of naked self-portraits in a book called ‘Half’. However, rather than trumpeting the duckling to swan narrative we have grown to expect,  coming to terms with her slimmer body has been the hardest part of the process.  Where our culture suggests that …Read More

Not Feeling It

By February 20, 2013 Blog

Most of us would rather feel happy than sad. Bad feelings feel – wrong.  Often however, they’re a normal, natural part of life.  They can even be useful. Example: ‘I feel like I’m going to be sick ‘ may lead me to deduce that my prawns are past their sell-by/I’m pregnant/I should get off this yacht/I’m not enjoying the film. Go Team Feeling. But before we take up our pompoms, let’s remember that our emotions may also tell us a …Read More

Lies

By February 19, 2013 Blog

If I knew you were coming, I’d have baked a cake I love surprises This old thing? I threw it on What a beautiful baby No, no I love dogs I don’t mean to be rude, but.. New? Honey I’ve had this dress for AGES It’s been far too long You haven’t changed a bit I cooked it myself You can hardly notice it I’M NOT SHOUTING I don’t want a Valentine’s card. It’s meant to look like that Of …Read More

Not That Sort Of Girl

By February 18, 2013 Blog

There’s a lot of things in life I just don’t do. Things that make me uncomfortable. That challenge my routines. Actions that contradict the image I have of myself: both positive and negative. ‘I’m too weak to do x’. ‘I’m too busy for y’. ‘I’m not the sort of person who does…’ But sometimes it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I think I’m weak – and I become weak.  I get nervous – but instead of talking to my fears I …Read More