Me: I’m going to do a post about fancying Darth Vader.
Glen: Do you fancy Darth Vader?
Me: Of course.
Glen: With or without helmet?
Me: Either. Both. I’m not head over heels. But he’s better than Luke.
Me: The light side is just not attractive.
Glen: Why did we get married?
Me: It’s a total joke. Not us – the light side. Think of it from the woman’s perspective. Camping with ewoks. Dinner conversations about womp rats. Light sabre left lying around for guests to trip over. I have no desire to wear a gold bikini or twist my hair into ridiculous bagels.
Glen: You realise that Leia was his sister right?
Me: Whatever. I don’t need rescuing and I don’t need a well-meaning crusade against evil. All I want is an empire of wipe-clean steel, a man who’s honest about wearing his mask and home in time for supper. Is that too much to ask?
Glen: [A minute of stunned silence] Darth. Vader.
Me: Cupid’s arrow strikes where it may. I’ve fancied worse.
…and it’s true. There have been Many Others.
Faceman from the A-team.
Michael Portillo. (IknowIknow. No words. Moment of TOTAL madness – long before I heard him speak).
Paul Hollywood (and his filthy way with dough)
Javier Bardem in Skyfall
Guilty, guilty loves. Tell me I’m not alone.