Even in theory this strikes me as an act of madness.
We’re no longer in the playground Lord. Some things can be forgiven. But this?
The porn addiction, every click a statement: You are not enough.
The dark-eyed gambler, laughing and tossing away our future with his dice.
The drinker who never stops… “but sweetheart, this one is the last”.
The parents who didn’t.
The carer who hurt.
The eyes and the fingers that trespassed on what was sacred.
The words that destroyed: a relationship, a reputation, a life.
The lies that struck like fists.
What do I do with this, Lord?
Take it to recycling with the rest of the empties? Crush it and make something beautiful?
Too easy. Too late.
I want to obey but I can’t. I want to speak mercy but then anger rises in my mouth.
“We find that the work of forgiveness has to be done over and over again. We, forgive, we mortify our resentment; a week later some chain of thought carries us back to the original offense and we discover the old resentment blazing away if nothing had been done about it at all. We need to forgive our brother seventy times seven not only for 490 offenses but for one offense.” C S Lewis.
Even if these aren’t current struggles – it’s not a particularly live issue for me right now – at some stage we’re all called to this.
So if you’re trapped in resentment, how do you break free?
How can we forgive? – And how can we not?