Yesterday’s existential crisis was provoked by a carrier bag. Fear not, I’m a warrior and in my usual stoic fashion, am powering through. But today I have a fresh angle.
To recap: I’ve been sent a lovely, thoughtful pressie from my brother. He (well his fiance), had to pick it, wrap it and post it. I’ll just underline the point: A Gift. From My Brother.
So – how did I respond? By cracking out the bunting and celebrating his thoughtfulness? No dear reader, I did not. I looked at his generosity and made it All About Me. How does he picture me? Is this accurate? Why choose this particular pattern? Etcetczzzzzzzz….
Which started me thinking about –
erm, me the – peculiar phenomenon that is human self-centeredness. (These observations may not apply to you, but writing in second person makes me feel a whole lot better).
Wouldn’t it be amazing
– to enjoy a photo…without searching for your own face first?
– to open Tarquin and Saskia’s perfect family update without aspirin and a sit-down?
– to bite into another woman’s flapjack without secretly comparing it to your granny’s (superior) crumb?
– to enjoy the success of a talented contemporary, without insinuating they have ugly toes/green dandruff?
– to chat with friends without trying to impress or manipulate the other person. To just – listen? And enjoy?
Can you imagine Jesus tugging on his disciple’s arms after preaching and whispering, ‘Was my explanation clear? The sermon on the mount: bit too long? Tell it to me straight guys: loaves and fishes – not enough seasoning? I Knew It!’ Storming off ‘I’m a Terrible Messiah’.
It’s ridiculous to think of Jesus in this way. But as His follower, I’m not just trying to copy Him from a distance. He’s my Saviour, personal and immediate; the Son of God -in me and with me. Jesus has defeated sin and death. He rose from the dead and is reigning over all creation. Saskia’s cupcakes. Bad hair photos. Sickness and longing and disappointment and hope. Everything is under Him and for Him: and He shares it with me.
I don’t need better hair or a medal for volleyball. I need Jesus. And I got Him – already. If heaven likes me, I’m not so dependent on my facebook friends.