Daily Dying

By November 18, 2013 Blog

Bonhoeffer writes that when Jesus calls a man, he bids him come and die. But what does that dying look like? When I first became a Christian,  death looked like leaving my family behind. Wrestling, night after night with whether I could trust a God my family didn’t believe.  For months, I refused to do it. I love them – and where they went, I followed.  But Christ’s call was to follow Him and not them.  And I had to …Read More

Be Myself: Are You Joking?

By November 17, 2013 Blog

It’s the sort of thing we say to each other all the time. Job interview coming up?  Just be yourself. Hot date? Just be yourself Meeting new people?  Your in-laws? The president? – Just be yourself. Sounds nice, doesn’t it?  Affirming and that. But there’s a couple of problems. For starters, which self should I be? The needy, demanding child who stomps her feet and yells ‘I WANT’?   The nag, cleaning and dreaming of a perfect house and a perfect husband …Read More

The Skinny Elephant

By November 15, 2013 Blog

Here’s the irony. You’re a 6 stone bag of bones but you take up all the room in the house. You feel like you have no voice but your whole life is screaming. You feel invisible but everyone’s looking at you. You try to shrink away but you only stick out more. You’re the elephant in the room – the painfully skinny elephant. But it’s horrible, the more you slim, the larger your presence. And no matter how you try to escape …Read More

Weight-Lifters

By November 14, 2013 Blog

Why does God put us in church? Is it to make us feel guilty? Or grade us for attendance? (‘Scrivener? Scrivener?) Yes.  Post done. Ok, no.  There’s lots of reasons.  But one big one is because we need friends. Folks who got our backs.  People who remind us what we love and what we’ve got.  Weight-lifters. Let me explain… I’m reading through Exodus at the moment and God’s led his people out of slavery in Egypt – but they’ve not …Read More

What’s the Point?

By November 13, 2013 Blog

you are not… your children or your partner, your parents or your friends, your enemies or the books you’ve read;  the clothes you buy or your facebook likes, the jobs you’ve done today or whether or not you took the bins out you are not…  your last chance or your first step; your final appraisal or your soft furnishings; a brand of trainers or a facecream or a dress size; your church attendance, your rotas, your mistakes or your triumphs you …Read More

Want Less

By November 12, 2013 Blog

I want an iPhone; I need conversation I want to be perfect; I need to be real I want beauty; I need to see His I want a penthouse; I need an open home I want to be Jane Austen,  Bridget Jones or Rhianna.  I need to be me and to know that’s enough . I want to change the world; I need to be changed myself I want a new body; I need to love the one I’ve got …Read More

Not Fixed, but Found

By November 11, 2013 Blog

Over the years I’ve heard a few testimonies.  I’ve given them myself –  and they can be powerful encouragements.  But sometimes, I wonder…what am I celebrating?  The individual’s personal change – or the God who brought such change about? And what happens to those who don’t experience such change? Who aren’t ‘zapped’?  If I struggle – and I’m not transformed – what does this say about God?  Or about me?  That I lack faith?  That He lacks power? This weakness …Read More

Dangerous Prayers

By November 10, 2013 Blog

Sometimes I read things in the Bible and think, fair enough.  But sometimes I struggle.  Sometimes, I have to suppress an audible snort. Romans 5:3 is a case in point. ‘Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope’. 13 years ago Glen and I were just about to get together. He’d been reading Phil 3:10 and (in a moment of madness) prayed, ‘Lord, if it will …Read More

Scaredy-Cat

By November 8, 2013 Blog

Fear’s a powerful motivator, isn’t it? This was brought home to me last night, by cat number 2. Such is his nervousness, that in five years he has avoided both a name and a collar.  Last night we tried to put a bell on him – with disastrous results. The asylum-seeking moggie went on a terrifying kibble-fuelled rampage, before head-butting his way through a locked (cat) door and escaping over the fence. Pieces of shattered cat-flap lay on the floor …Read More

Fragile

By November 7, 2013 Blog

The world makes no sense. Today I’ve been praying for  a couple whose twin babies were stillborn.  They are consumed by grief. a woman who’s been bleeding – and may or may not be miscarrying (but didn’t know she was pregnant) a woman who didn’t think she could get pregnant, but is.  The father – a drug addict, is not around.  She’s terrified and considering an abortion. Unbearable pain – in every situation.    Words fail me.  The ones I’ve …Read More