The ones who have been sick for a boringly long time.
The ones who ask for more than they give.
The ones whose situation has changed; lost their job and can’t afford to buy a round. Had kids and can’t get a babysitter. Marriage break-up and need a friendly ear.
The ones who are stuck in the past whilst you’ve moved on.
The ones who challenge you on issues you don’t want to hear.
Cancel at short notice. Phone at inconvenient times. Keep droning on about their dog or their roses or their new man or their problems.
Seriously. Why not chop down those friendships that aren’t pulling their weight? Like gardening, except with relationships. Prune Your Pals. Cut Back On Deadwood Mates.
Emotional hoovers, sucking up your precious energy juice. Stopping you from being all that you can be. Remnants from the past, when you’re trying to break free.
Life’s too short for these sorts of people, right? Time and energy and money, all of which could be put towards better use. Shoes. Sparkly Friends. A new box set. Sure, they’ll hurt – for a bit. But they’ll cope. If they don’t, it’s not your problem. And anyway, what’s more important? Living your best life now? Or limping along with life’s losers?
This is the kind of nonsense I’ve been reading in magazines recently. It gets dressed up under words like ‘Empowerment’ and ‘Tough Love’ – but there’s nothing empowering or loving about it.
My first issue (and I may be alone), is this: I don’t have a million mates to cull – and the ones I’ve got, I kind of like.
I like spending time with them. I like that they share their lives and struggles with me. It’s not always convenient, but it’s a privilege. And time and again, they do the same thing for me. Picking me up when I’m down. Walking with me through years of the same struggles. I like that they challenge me, (not at the time, admittedly. But later. When I’ve prayed their words through and they sort of make sense).
Plus the ‘loser’ list sounds awfully familiar. Less like Other People and more like – er, me. (Note to friends: don’t cull me!! I can change! Maybe…)
And finally this: I think I like the sound of the losers. They sound like they might be human.It’s the people writing those articles that scare me.