Living by Doubt

By July 20, 2017 Blog

Don’t listen to yourself. You are not the best judge of how you’re doing.  In fact, it’s most likely that you are the worst. I think, ‘I’m doing fine,” when I’m not.  I believe that I’m “hopeless and rubbish,” when I’m loved and chosen by God and filled by his Holy Spirit. I assume that, “I’ll never succeed so I’d better give up…” when true glory isn’t winning, but stepping out and stumbling on. There are a thousand reasons I …Read More

The Shape of Me: Guest Post

By July 11, 2017 Blog

Thanks so much to H for this brilliant guest post…   I am so, so caught with my appearance…I know this is only a symptom of deeper problems. Yet I just want to pause and ask the question, why am I so concerned with ‘the shape of me’? It is right to care how I present myself because I am not just my own person. Being concerned with ‘the shape of me’ is a desire that needs to be channelled, focused, redirected. I …Read More

Hot off the press

By July 10, 2017 Blog

Here’s a couple of articles I’ve written recently for Christianity and IDEA magazines. Thanks to these fab publications for letting me write – I really recommend them both. (Amaris – we will miss you!) One note – The IDEA feature was part of an issue on the theme of freedom.  They’ve called it, ‘How God set me free from an eating disorder’ – but my original title was ‘The shape of freedom’.  I think it fits the piece better (as it’s not simply about …Read More

And yet –

By July 4, 2017 Blog

The challenges I face are too much. “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Cor 12:9 I’m too scared. “I have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.” 2 Tim 1:7. I’m rubbish. I’m done. I’m far too ashamed. “So now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1 I’ve got no-where to turn. ‘”I myself will tend my …Read More

The Antidote to Shame

By June 27, 2017 Blog

In Hebrew, the word for ‘shame’ goes beyond feeling embarrassed for yourself.  It’s about hoping in something foolish; (false gods are sometimes called “shame”). It’s the  anguish you feel when both you and the things in which you have trusted, are exposed. Idols are “things of shame” – false sources of confidence and identity. But their shame is contagious – they make us shameful too! Here’s the cycle: We go to shameful things to feel OK. They make us feel even more shameful, so …Read More

But I can’t DO it!

By June 23, 2017 Blog

“Do not worry”, says Jesus in the sermon on the mount (verse reference, Matthew 6:25-34). So we worry, (or at least, I do). We worry to start with, because that’s who we are. And then we read this verse … and worry MORE, because we’re disobeying God. Telling us not to do something only shows us how impossible it is to obey.  Like telling ourselves to “be purple”. No amount of willpower makes it better. So what do we do, when we can’t …Read More

Some thoughts on yesterday’s post…

By June 14, 2017 Blog

Yesterday’s post was entitled Grace versus Justice – but a lovely blog reader has (rightly) pulled me up on it; because they are not opposed. So along with the original post, I’ve added her comments, and tried to clarify with some of my own. Here’s what I’d originally written: … Justice arrives 45 minutes early, wearing a scowl.  Then she outstays her welcome by several years. Grace whisks you away for a weekend break. She’s arranged your babysitters and insists on paying. Justice hollers from the sidelines, …Read More

Grace versus Justice

By June 13, 2017 Blog

Grace and justice. Who’s more fun at a party? Grace every time, right? But who do we invite over when it’s our turn to host? Justice. Justice arrives 45 minutes early, wearing a scowl.  Then she outstays her welcome by several years. Grace whisks you away for a weekend break. She’s arranged your babysitters and insists on paying. Justice hollers from the sidelines, “Harder, faster, stronger, not like that!” then pulls you from the team with a sigh of exasperation. Grace doesn’t seem to have noticed your match-losing incompetence. She’s …Read More

13 Reasons Why Not

By June 5, 2017 Blog

We’ve just finished watching the series ’13 Reasons Why.’ It’s about a teenage girl, Hannah, who kills herself; and the 13 people she blames for her decision. My feelings on it are mixed. It graphically depicts issues such as self-harm, rape, addiction and suicide; all of which need to be discussed. It also teaches us how to spot warning signs in vulnerable teenagers and to ask, ‘what would I do? How could I have helped?’ These are vital questions; but there …Read More

Why it’s gonna be okay

By May 29, 2017 Blog

You can’t fix the past – and you don’t need to. Redemption means that everything, even your worst, your most shameful moments, are covered. They are being woven into something beautiful. You can’t live in the future – and you wouldn’t want to. Even the future you desperately want – the one you dare not name because it’s too painful to open your heart to hope; even that would be no good for you right now. The future needs to …Read More