Unconditional

By May 18, 2015 Blog
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I’ve been talking to some friends about love. One who’s been single for many years, is now in a relationship. The other, who’s been childless for many years, has just had a wee boy. Both are rejoicing.  But both say this: ‘It’s wonderful – but it doesn’t fix you.’   The longed-for family.  The partner you’ve always dreamed of. When it comes to love, this is the best that the world can offer. And it’s wonderful – but it doesn’t …Read More

Crash Landing: Guest Post

By May 11, 2015 Blog
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An enormous thank-you to Catherine, for this brilliant guest post: “I don’t know if you can imagine losing your mind. My guess is that if you have never struggled with mental illness, you can’t. Speaking out of personal experience, my brain was probably the part of me I trusted the most, and took completely for granted….until it broke. And when mine broke, it was horrific. It felt horrific. “Legs break,” people will say earnestly, trying to explain and to comfort: …Read More

Rest for the Rabbit-hearts

By April 28, 2015 Blog
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I love that Jesus tells us to cast our cares on Him.  The difficult part is letting them go. I’m good at anxiety.  I can’t keep our plants alive – but I can blow the tiniest flicker of worry into a furnace. Big ones, (health, wanting my family to know Jesus, scary letters, bills, The Future) and little ones (did I really say that? must remember to phone X…what’s that smell of burning?) …they gang up and tackle me when I least expect …Read More

The Bottom Line

By April 21, 2015 Blog
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Having a baby reveals depths you never expected. New lows of grumpiness and sleep deprivation.  But also –  great heights. For one thing, I never realised how funny I really am. I’m a comedy genius. My daughter proves it. Pick up a spoon and she roars with appreciation. Flush the toilet and she cackles.  I’ve had to retire the monkey dance because the excitement was making her choke. And the admiration is mutual.  Her yawns are both colourful and fulsome.  She burps unicorns and her smiles are sparkles. She can’t yet talk, …Read More

It’s Ok Not To Know

By April 13, 2015 Blog
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Depression is a beast. Sometimes you can spot it coming. But often, it sneaks up and grabs you from behind. At these times, the normal weaponry – self-care, support from friends/GP, comfort TV, maintenance meds – feel like sword-fighting with a plastic spoon. Or it would if you were up for a fight.   Which, (along with other tasks like getting washed, cleaning your teeth and breathing), you’re not. A friend comes to you and says that they’re struggling. ‘Tell me this will end.’ ‘I can’t believe anyone else …Read More

Yes! No! Maybe

By April 8, 2015 Blog
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I’d like the world to be more definite. Clarity on life’s big issues. Black  or white. Right or wrong. Christian or Not Christian. Baptism. Breast feeding. Beards. Boxed Sets. Tell me what to think and I can keep my brain in neutral. YES or NO. Anything but ‘maybe.’ ‘Maybe’ is like boot camp for the brain.  Hard graft, early starts and endless sweaty questions that often take you back where you started. Muddied, messy middle ground. Well, I don’t like mess. I don’t want to have to work …Read More

Two Pictures

By April 3, 2015 Blog
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A joint post with Glen If you come to our house and climb the stairs, you’ll see two paintings - both by a good (and very talented) friend of ours. The first - a picture of Jesus crucified - was a wedding gift. The second was commissioned for my birthday - a portrait of our 3 month old daughter. The pictures hang side by side but though the artist is the same, they couldn’t be more different. One is a portrait of new life, the other of death. One is …Read More

Beyond Black

By March 30, 2015 Blog
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I can’t stop thinking about the plane that went down. About the pilot.  Depressed? Stressed? Crazy? Evil? Someone to be pitied? A victim - or a psychopath?  A suicide – or a massacre? About his parents.  Mourning with the other families. Travelling with them to the site.   Shared sympathy.  A fault in the aircraft? A freak accident?  “He did his best to save them. We’re all in the same situation.” But then, the discovery. Two people are separated from the group …Read More

Cannonball

By March 24, 2015 Blog
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We think God should hand us a rescue rope. Instead He fires off a cannonball. Glen’s latest video… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jI-ZtaSOGkA   Share…

(Some) Things That Have Shaped Me

By March 23, 2015 Blog
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being an eldest child the books of Roald Dahl getting bullied going on a diet my daughter the lies of perfectionism pornography (and the boyfriend who read it) thinking that Christianity was about morals - then experiencing grace giving up on ‘having it all’ antidepressants discovering I was in love with my best friend my grandmother’s death not being able to get pregnant going to a girl’s school fear of rejection growing up in Northern Ireland – and then leaving it my first Sunday school …Read More