Beyond Black

By March 30, 2015 Blog
SONY DSC

I can’t stop thinking about the plane that went down. About the pilot.  Depressed? Stressed? Crazy? Evil? Someone to be pitied? A victim - or a psychopath?  A suicide – or a massacre? About his parents.  Mourning with the other families. Travelling with them to the site.   Shared sympathy.  A fault in the aircraft? A freak accident?  “He did his best to save them. We’re all in the same situation.” But then, the discovery. Two people are separated from the group …Read More

Cannonball

By March 24, 2015 Blog
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We think God should hand us a rescue rope. Instead He fires off a cannonball. Glen’s latest video… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jI-ZtaSOGkA   Share…

(Some) Things That Have Shaped Me

By March 23, 2015 Blog
me

being an eldest child the books of Roald Dahl getting bullied going on a diet my daughter the lies of perfectionism pornography (and the boyfriend who read it) thinking that Christianity was about morals - then experiencing grace giving up on ‘having it all’ antidepressants discovering I was in love with my best friend my grandmother’s death not being able to get pregnant going to a girl’s school fear of rejection growing up in Northern Ireland – and then leaving it my first Sunday school …Read More

Dear Mum

By March 15, 2015 Blog
Pair of Northern Mockingbird Chicks

We’re not the sort of family that does sentiment. Love – yes, in spades –  but sentiment: soft toys, Hallmark cards and swirly pink lettering – no. Definitely not. Half-hugs and easy laughter, ping-pong banter and shared stories.  That’s our language: “You’re not so bad.” (“I love you.  I’m proud of you.”) You’re not so bad yourself.”  (“I love you too.”) Sometimes though, it’s good to say more.  To put words to the layers, or at least, to try. Mum. You brought me, …Read More

Not Enough

By March 9, 2015 Blog
not enough

Today I planned to write a blog. I planned to do some washing. I planned to read the Bible and have a good pray. I planned to phone a friend I haven’t spoken to in a long time.   I planned to send an (overdue) birthday card I planned to pay the bills and phone the dentist and reply to email and wash my hair and de-flea the cats and buy milk and take the recycling. … Mondays can be overwhelming – and …Read More

The Gift of Failure

By March 2, 2015 Blog
Failure

It’s funny how success is seen as the route to happiness.  In my experience, it’s the opposite.  Striving for something you can’t achieve – being (the most) beautiful (the most) entertaining (the most) intelligent the fittest the richest the thinnest the most popular – but always The Most – doesn’t make you happy; it makes you miserable – and grumpy, to boot. That’s the problem with success – it’s usually a competition.  “Good” doesn’t cut it -  you need to be Best. Which for 99.9999 per cent …Read More

Myth and Reality

By February 23, 2015 Blog
myth

The myth of depression: I’m not sick, just lazy.  I am weak and sad and pathetic. This is all my fault. People would be better off without me.  I’m a burden and a waste of space.  I don’t feel like God’s there – so either He isn’t, or He doesn’t want me. I’m a terrible Christian and a terrible person. Nothing will ever change. No-one understands. The reality of depression: I have a sickness called depression. I feel weak and …Read More

40 Per Cent Living

By February 19, 2015 Blog
part time

Is all of the Bible really for me? Some days, (especially when I’m stressed), it feels more like 40 per cent. 40 per cent that’s practical and real, a direct line between what God says and what Emma needs to do. 40 per cent that’s appropriate to daily life; the grocery shop and feeding the cats. 40 per cent that works in 21st century Eastbourne, not 1st century Palestine. 40 per cent that’s for a justgettingthrough believer, not a solid-gold saint. What makes up the …Read More

Not Just A Head Truth

By February 16, 2015 Blog
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What makes you you? Perhaps it’s something obvious.  A physical stamp, like the lettering that runs through  a stick of rock. A shock of flame-red hair. A birth-mark. The way you tilt your head.  Your laugh. Your funny, loping walk. Maybe it’s something hidden.  Something the cashier at the supermarket can’t spot, and even close friends might miss.  An event in your past. Or words that have lodged, deep below your skin. “You’re special.”  “You’re a disappointment.” “You’re fat or useless …Read More

Choose Your Own Adventure – or Live Out His

By February 10, 2015 Blog
captain

If, like me, you’re a child of the 80′s, you may remember the literary phenomenon that was “choose your own adventure.” If not, here’s an introduction: “You and your trusty dog, Marzipan, have travelled to the planet Zorg.  Your spaceship has landed in a large crater.  To the north is a field filled with a strange green gas.  To the south is a cave, marked with a large ‘Keep Off’ sign. To the east is a castle guarded by giant monkeys. If …Read More