Rest for the Rabbit-hearts

By April 28, 2015 Blog
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I love that Jesus tells us to cast our cares on Him.  The difficult part is letting them go. I’m good at anxiety.  I can’t keep our plants alive – but I can blow the tiniest flicker of worry into a furnace. Big ones, (health, wanting my family to know Jesus, scary letters, bills, The Future) and little ones (did I really say that? must remember to phone X…what’s that smell of burning?) …they gang up and tackle me when I least expect …Read More

The Bottom Line

By April 21, 2015 Blog
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Having a baby reveals depths you never expected. New lows of grumpiness and sleep deprivation.  But also –  great heights. For one thing, I never realised how funny I really am. I’m a comedy genius. My daughter proves it. Pick up a spoon and she roars with appreciation. Flush the toilet and she cackles.  I’ve had to retire the monkey dance because the excitement was making her choke. And the admiration is mutual.  Her yawns are both colourful and fulsome.  She burps unicorns and her smiles are sparkles. She can’t yet talk, …Read More

It’s Ok Not To Know

By April 13, 2015 Blog
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Depression is a beast. Sometimes you can spot it coming. But often, it sneaks up and grabs you from behind. At these times, the normal weaponry – self-care, support from friends/GP, comfort TV, maintenance meds – feel like sword-fighting with a plastic spoon. Or it would if you were up for a fight.   Which, (along with other tasks like getting washed, cleaning your teeth and breathing), you’re not. A friend comes to you and says that they’re struggling. ‘Tell me this will end.’ ‘I can’t believe anyone else …Read More

Yes! No! Maybe

By April 8, 2015 Blog
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I’d like the world to be more definite. Clarity on life’s big issues. Black  or white. Right or wrong. Christian or Not Christian. Baptism. Breast feeding. Beards. Boxed Sets. Tell me what to think and I can keep my brain in neutral. YES or NO. Anything but ‘maybe.’ ‘Maybe’ is like boot camp for the brain.  Hard graft, early starts and endless sweaty questions that often take you back where you started. Muddied, messy middle ground. Well, I don’t like mess. I don’t want to have to work …Read More

Two Pictures

By April 3, 2015 Blog
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A joint post with Glen If you come to our house and climb the stairs, you’ll see two paintings - both by a good (and very talented) friend of ours. The first - a picture of Jesus crucified - was a wedding gift. The second was commissioned for my birthday - a portrait of our 3 month old daughter. The pictures hang side by side but though the artist is the same, they couldn’t be more different. One is a portrait of new life, the other of death. One is …Read More

Beyond Black

By March 30, 2015 Blog
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I can’t stop thinking about the plane that went down. About the pilot.  Depressed? Stressed? Crazy? Evil? Someone to be pitied? A victim - or a psychopath?  A suicide – or a massacre? About his parents.  Mourning with the other families. Travelling with them to the site.   Shared sympathy.  A fault in the aircraft? A freak accident?  “He did his best to save them. We’re all in the same situation.” But then, the discovery. Two people are separated from the group …Read More

Cannonball

By March 24, 2015 Blog
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We think God should hand us a rescue rope. Instead He fires off a cannonball. Glen’s latest video… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jI-ZtaSOGkA   Share…

(Some) Things That Have Shaped Me

By March 23, 2015 Blog
me

being an eldest child the books of Roald Dahl getting bullied going on a diet my daughter the lies of perfectionism pornography (and the boyfriend who read it) thinking that Christianity was about morals - then experiencing grace giving up on ‘having it all’ antidepressants discovering I was in love with my best friend my grandmother’s death not being able to get pregnant going to a girl’s school fear of rejection growing up in Northern Ireland – and then leaving it my first Sunday school …Read More

Dear Mum

By March 15, 2015 Blog
Pair of Northern Mockingbird Chicks

We’re not the sort of family that does sentiment. Love – yes, in spades –  but sentiment: soft toys, Hallmark cards and swirly pink lettering – no. Definitely not. Half-hugs and easy laughter, ping-pong banter and shared stories.  That’s our language: “You’re not so bad.” (“I love you.  I’m proud of you.”) You’re not so bad yourself.”  (“I love you too.”) Sometimes though, it’s good to say more.  To put words to the layers, or at least, to try. Mum. You brought me, …Read More

Not Enough

By March 9, 2015 Blog
not enough

Today I planned to write a blog. I planned to do some washing. I planned to read the Bible and have a good pray. I planned to phone a friend I haven’t spoken to in a long time.   I planned to send an (overdue) birthday card I planned to pay the bills and phone the dentist and reply to email and wash my hair and de-flea the cats and buy milk and take the recycling. … Mondays can be overwhelming – and …Read More