The Shape of Me: Guest Post

By July 11, 2017 Blog

Thanks so much to H for this brilliant guest post…   I am so, so caught with my appearance…I know this is only a symptom of deeper problems. Yet I just want to pause and ask the question, why am I so concerned with ‘the shape of me’? It is right to care how I present myself because I am not just my own person. Being concerned with ‘the shape of me’ is a desire that needs to be channelled, focused, redirected. I …Read More

Cosmetic Surgery and the Christian

By December 8, 2014 Blog

I recently received an email from a lady, (Christian), who is considering having cosmetic surgery. She’s asked for my advice, so I’ve been trying to think it through. There are lots of bits of me I’d have like to had altered. I think that’s true for many of us. But as a Christian, I always felt like I couldn’t afford or justify it – at least, not on purely cosmetic grounds. My eating disorder did a similar job and far more damage, …Read More

In Defense of Dawkins

By August 21, 2014 Blog

Last night we felt our baby kick. Except that, of course, it’s not a baby. It’s a fetus. A potential  life – which is apparently very different.  For one thing, he (or she) must earn the right to exist.  If that child is flawed  or substandard; if the foot that nudged my husband’s hand is say, deformed  or misshapen, well obviously we have the right to withdraw all protection and care. In fact, it’s our moral duty to do so. Yesterday, a woman tweeted Richard Dawkins with these words, …Read More

Coping with a Scary Diagnosis

By June 26, 2014 Blog

1.Give yourself time to adjust: take time to talk it through with a partner, a close friend or someone from church. 2. Get a second opinion and make sure that you’ve got a GP or consultant that you feel comfortable with.  If you don’t, ask if you can see someone else. 3. Do some research: but from reputable books or websites. Do Not Google. This is not the time for random message boards or (scary) misinformation. If you’re trying different things, …Read More

Summer Sadness

By June 25, 2014 Blog

From today’s Guardian: “Summer. The time of year for barbecues, music festivals, denim hotpants, side-boob, and salt-spritzed hair. All hazy good fun and young flesh on display; magazines yelling for us civilians to get ready for “bikini season”; and everyone doing their best to look like those women gracing magazine covers. Excuse me if I sound bitter, it’s just because I am – I hate it. Summer can be the most difficult three months of the year if you’re like …Read More

No Sex After Marriage?

By May 27, 2014 Blog

There are many reasons why sex might be a problem in your marriage. One or both of you might have depression. You could be on meds that reduce your libido.  Perhaps the past is something that still feels present: abuse or assault or relationships which left you scarred. You might have body hang-ups; an eating disorder, a hatred of seeing your own flesh. Or maybe you’re just from very different backgrounds; with different expectations of intimacy. It’s a massive issue …Read More

Don’t Take Yourself For Granted

By May 21, 2014 Blog

Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three. The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades. Your thumb is the same length as your nose. The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia Britannica. At the moment of conception, you spent about half an hour as a single cell. Your nose can remember 50,000 scents. Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a gallon …Read More

The Sex Issue

By March 17, 2014 Blog

(Given the topic, I thought I’d do this post with Glen): Recently, Glen was chatting to a guy with a serious girlfriend.  ‘Man,’ said the guy, ‘I’m really struggling with purity issues. I’ve got all these pent-up feelings and it’s hard holding off’. He took a sip of his pint, ‘Y’know?’ Glen did know.  And so did his wife.  But Glen asked a question: “Do you think marriage will solve those problems?” “Yes! Wait: you’re saying it won’t?” This time …Read More

Two Kinds of Fast

By March 11, 2014 Blog

Lent is traditionally the season of abstinence.  We ask each other, ‘what are you giving up?’ But the real question is this: ‘who are you giving it up for?’   I say this as someone who’s very good at self-will and saying ‘no’. But I’m learning there’s a world of difference between fasting for the Lord and fasting for yourself.   Both look religious, but are centered round very different gods. One is Jesus.  One is me. If you’re not …Read More

Body Art

By December 10, 2013 Blog

Many of us don’t know who we are.   And we’ll go to great lengths to create a self we can recognise. Anorexia is a case in point.  You might be confused about your identity and where you fit – but here’s the thing – you can always be thin. A lie, of course: you can starve yourself into the grave and it won’t be enough.  But it gives you a sense of purpose. And a negative self-image can seem …Read More