Funny old day, today.  Were it dancing for my entertainment, I’d remark kindly on its sequins, and then slam it with a 3. For starters, it’s a Monday, masquerading as a Tuesday.  No-one likes that.  Or the wrench as you shift your gears from holiday back to working (or not working) week. Then there was a trip to the hospital. Hospitals are strange places at the best of times.  Just think of the hundreds of life-changing conversations and procedures that are happening there, every minute.  And yet, even though they’re on ... Read More

It might be surprising to know, but I was a pastor in a church for almost 5 years and I have to say, today, I have never felt spiritually lower. I’m not having a crisis of faith. I know Jesus is Lord, I know Jesus is the Son of God; I can declare loudly that he is coming and he is King. But he has become more of an acquaintance than a friend. I think that has happened because I have lost sight of freedom. We are told that we live in a free society. Freedom is supposed to bring happiness. But if that’s true, then why am I – and others ... Read More

It’s just one day.  For goodness’ sake: there are another 364 potential not mother’s celebrations, right? Okay, that’s not helping. So, how to get through this one? Is it possible to wring a genuine sense of peace from a heart that’s currently sucking on a lemon?.. Seems to me I’ve got a few options: 1. Despair (Very appealing): I’m not pregnant.  That’s terrible.  I’m terrible.  I can’t cope.  I’ve screwed up my life and my biology and everything I touch turns to mulch. ... Read More

A bucket list, as I’m sure you know, is a list of things you’d like to do before you die (or ‘hit the bucket’).  Here’s some of mine;   road trip with my hubby take communion with my family perform ‘Goldfinger’ wearing Shirley Bassey wig and all-in-one gold lame go to La Tomatina festival in Spain tell my old Sunday school teacher how imp0rtant he was to me have a baby put my hand print in wet concrete walk on the grass change someone’s life milk a cow memorise the book of Romans write and ... Read More

It’s traditional at Lent to give something up.  I haven’t done this – but have been thinking about the things in my life that overstep their boundaries. Top of the list is my mobile phone.  I panic when we’re separated. At night, I stroke it and fall asleep bathed in its warm neon glow.  It’s the first face that greets me in the morning, with a cheery puuuurrrrrrrrt puuuurrrrrrrrrrt and throughout the day, it flashes me reassurance – I’m loved, I’m important, I have a life. How did I cope ... Read More

Do women struggle with success? Don’t lunge at me – yet. I don’t want to foist my insecurities on an entire gender. I’m not implying that all women are the same.  And I don’t mean that we’re not, objectively speaking, successful. Far from it. But. Despite our achievements.  Despite  the affirmations and the reassurances and the checked-off lists – can we accept it ourselves? Do you ever look in the mirror and say, ‘I’m a success?’ Do you ever compare yourself favourably with others? At the end of the day – with the ... Read More

Recently I’ve been feeling somewhat flat. I’ve been waking up with a vague sense of discontent, surreptitiously feeding it and then feeling sorry for myself and wondering why it’s still hanging around. I have, my friends, been coasting.  Treading the water of life and persuading myself I’ll be floating in the same place a few weeks later. Except that it doesn’t work quite like that.  When it comes to my relationship with Jesus, (perhaps as with all relationships), I’m either growing to love him more or ... Read More

It’s been a dumpling of a week: one of those swampy, lumpy January bogs that feels like swimming through porridge. Things to do, but no poop for doing ‘em. A series of ever-decreasing circles: grey routines and baggy pants. But that’s quite enough wallowing.  Truth be told, my little rut’s gotten too cosy – time to strap on a rocket and blast out! Here’s The Plan: 1. get the Bible open.  So far I’ve been dipping my toe in a couple of devotionals/sermons (and they’re great), but not enough. ... Read More

Aaaah, Boxing Day.  The calm after the Christmas Day storm. An oasis of jigsaws, re-runs and indigestion. Christmas Day is great. But – it’s a little overwhelming too.  It’s lovely to see family and it’s lovely to sit together round a meal and it’s lovely to open some presents.  It’s just that on this one day, it’s ALL of everything in one go. ALL the family – even the ones you usually only see at weddings. ALL the food – breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert… a gigantic non-stop ... Read More

Christmas. Suddenly it’s not just snapping at my heels, but licking my nose. Part of me loves it, the other bit wants to stay into bed until it’s all over. It’s a challenging time – in part because IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE FUN. Not just a temporary ceasefire on the conflict that punctuates normal family life, but a whole sleighload of relentless, frenzied, all-ages frivolity. On the list of stressful life events, Christmas can be up there with moving home and getting married. At this time of year, men are inundated with ideas for What ... Read More