Glen’s away at the moment, so I’m seeking solace in the arms of another man.  He’s called Mr Hesse and I picked him up in the library. Herman’s not here in person, but he wrote some stonking fairy stories. Proper ones: with giants and goblins and elves and all the rest. I can hardly put ‘em down. All of life is here. Unrequited love. Family feuds. Friendships and quarrels.   Anger and malice and grief and greed. The beauty who can’t get out of bed. (Depression? Or just too many late nights?) Fashion victims with crystal ... Read More

One of my friends hates clothes shopping.  The way she gets round it is by buying three of every item –  identical in shape and make, but in different sizes. That way, whatever her body’s doing, she’s got something that fits – and since it’s all the same colour, everything matches. She has my sympathy.  Aside from navy t-shirts, (of which I have hundreds), nothing makes me feel more miserable than trying on outfits.  Jeans are the worst. But even jeans wear out.  So once a year, I sally forth, determined to ... Read More

Are there some jobs that Christians shouldn’t be doing? If so, what are they? And based upon what criteria? I’m thinking Porn star is probably a no. But from that point onwards, it gets a little trickier. In yesterday’s post I applauded the decision of a lingerie model who felt that her work  was compromising her faith. I still think that her move was brave and godly. But maybe my reasons for thinking so are bad as well as good.  You see, there’s a bit of me that assumes all Christian lingerie models should do the ... Read More

Is it just me or is going to the hairdressers a bit like medieval torture? An hour spent trying to avoid your own reflection. Sixty minutes fielding questions about your Holiday Plans/Boyfriend/Job/Exotic sex life. (I HAVE NONE OF THESE. NOW DROP IT) A pumping soundtrack.  That you don’t recognise because Yes, You are Old. And No, they won’t switch it to Classic FM. Plus, worst of all… Enough celebrity magazines to sink an ocean liner (along with your self-esteem).   I know.  This is not a normal response. The ... Read More

How do you help an addict? If you’re an addict, how do you help yourself? It’s easy to judge. It’s easy to justify. Is there a place that’s in-between? Can we go beyond the caricature? The tramp, sloshed on special brew? The teenage drunk, giddy with alcopops. Before we turn the lens on others, can we look at ourselves? –  if so, are we prepared for what we might see? A couple of glasses in the comfort of my own home.  A few beers with the lads.  Celebratory cocktails.  After-work drinks.  Mummy’s ... Read More

I like to think of myself as a bit of a ‘kooky’ believer.  A little too edgy for Church. Zany! A bit of a rebel – and way too cool for that dogma stuff. Not for me the mainstream precepts.  Get this – I listen to non-Christian bands.  Doctrine? That’s ole’ school, man.  Get with the beat, baggy. Doctrine’s for sad old has-beens. Of course, this is nonsense.  For starters, I’m as edgy as my Dad’s golf socks.  It’s tempting to think I can straddle the divide between secular and ... Read More

I never thought I’d have anything in common with James Cameron.  The man who brought us ‘Titanic: the movie’ and – worse still – a song that goes on and on and on and – (Stop! Make it stop! My ears are BLEEDING) You get the gist. But – Celine Dion aside – it turns out that we think in similar categories.  Here’s what he says; ‘People call me a perfectionist, but I’m not.  I’m a rightist: I do something until it’s right, and then I move on to the next ... Read More

Picture the scene. The airport.  It’s the final boarding call. You’re poised between WH Smith and the departure gate. Ahead of you stretches a twelve hour flight.  Customs have confiscated your paperbacks.  Your Kindle has exploded.  And in front of you is a table of books from unfamiliar authors.  In your head a bearded yoda whispers, ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’. But sometimes, what else have you got to go on? In a sea of scripts, a striking jacket can make all the difference to whether or not your ... Read More

cop who doesn’t do things by the book, but dammit he gets results ignorant superior officer OR Chief who wants top cops off the case ponytail = bad guy men in tight t-shirts running through sprinklers, (ok, this doesn’t really happen but if it did…) hero carries exact taxi fare.  Taxi driver wears floral shirt, is saving for dream home and has a nagging wife. German terrorists let me tell you my evil plan and then fail to kill you Danny Glover is too old for this loveable  (Irish) alcoholic who will be able to give up the ... Read More

There’s often a gap between the masks we show the world and our true faces.  Between the stories we tell others and the truths we keep hidden.   But perhaps these masks also reveal as much as they disguise. This subject  is explored in depth by the artist Gillian Wearing, whose work is currently being shown in Whitechapel Gallery, London. Wearing’s first major work was ‘Signs that say what you want them to say and not Signs that say what someone else wants you to say’ (1992–93). This was a series of photographs, ... Read More