1. You are loved.   There are also people who care about you – even if you can’t see it or if you’ve lost someone close.  There are people who would care about you too, if you were to open up to them, even just a little. And more than this, God loves you.  That’s a life-changing, unalterable fact – not a greeting card sentiment. 2. You’re not in control, but that’s okay.  God is and He can be trusted. 3. God has created you and given you a life with purpose and meaning.  You might not feel it or ... Read More

Do women struggle with success? Don’t lunge at me – yet. I don’t want to foist my insecurities on an entire gender. I’m not implying that all women are the same.  And I don’t mean that we’re not, objectively speaking, successful. Far from it. But. Despite our achievements.  Despite  the affirmations and the reassurances and the checked-off lists – can we accept it ourselves? Do you ever look in the mirror and say, ‘I’m a success?’ Do you ever compare yourself favourably with others? At the end of the day – with the ... Read More

A few months ago, I painted our gate – red, with blue polka dots.  I was inspired in part by a woman called Yayoi Kusama – perhaps the world’s most celebrated mental patient. Kusama has been hailed as one of the most important female artists in the world. In 2008, one of her paintings was sold for $5.8 million – the record at that time, for any living female artist. Kusama’s battle with mental illness has shaped her art and her life. Since childhood, she has experienced depression, hallucinations  and repeated ... Read More

I don’t know about you, but I’m a natural Eeyore. My glass is often half-empty – even when there’s plenty of drinking left. Tiggers – (like my husband), leave me dizzy and bewildered.  All that joy and bounce – there’s simply no need. Yet all too often, I’ll use my natural disposition as an excuse: justification for acting lumpy.   The thoughts go like this: I’m a melancholy person – not just a misery-guts.  I’m over-burdened: not over-committed.  I’m depressed, rather ... Read More

I was reading an interview yesterday with Susan Boyle, (the singer who won X Factor and was catapulted from ordinary life to worldwide celebrity).  Understandably, Boyle struggled to cope with this transition and her mental health was gleefully discussed and dissected in the media. But more than the time she spent in therapy, I was struck by a phrase she’d learned from her mum: and one that I learned from mine too. ‘Baby steps’. ‘Baby steps’ means a number of things.  Firstly,  take it a little bit at a time. ... Read More

They’re not like us.  The rich, the talented, the beautiful.  They’re sheltered, strong, immune to the doubt and despair that assails the weak.   4 They have no struggles;    their bodies are healthy and strong. 5 They are free from common human burdens;    they are not plagued by human ills. (Psalm 73) Well, amen to that. I’ve been thinking it for years. And close on its heels bark the ’What If’s’. Not to mention the ‘If Only’s’. What if I could be like X?  If only I ... Read More

No-one likes being sick – whether in body or in soul.  It’s a reminder of our frailty and mortality.  It stops us doing the things that give us identity.  Even in short bursts, it can be isolating, depressing, wearying.  But when it goes on for a long time – that’s a real killer. To start with, it’s not so bad.  There are options.  Doctors to see, remedies to try. But the days turn into months.  Months turn into years. As the avenues of hope close off, we too can close down. Our world becomes smaller.  ... Read More

I’ve written a lot about the false stigma that surrounds depression.  But it occurs to me that we can gild it too. Here’s a a couple of myths; 1. ‘Depression is glamorous’.  For some reason we seem to consider happiness as the preserve of simpletons or at the very least, those who haven’t quite thought it through. Nonsense. Just as losing your parking space  does not equate to a dark night of the soul, genuine depression is miserable and somehow boring at the same time. Yet it’s often portrayed in the ... Read More

Are there some conditions where you’d be better off just not knowing? Illnesses or disorders which, when identified can be a help – but also a hindrance.  Not simply in the way that other people view them, but the way you view yourself? I’m thinking for example, of depression.  I can’t speak for anyone else who struggles, but in my own life I’ve  wondered if having an official label has done me more harm than good. Here’s some of the pros: 1. it has helped me to recognise that my feelings can’t be ... Read More

The NHS issues about 40 million prescriptions a year to deal with depression.  That’s twice the number prescribed a decade ago. Recently I cornered a GP on this issue. I asked him if he felt that doctors generally were over-prescribing antidepressants. Without  blinking, he said yes. But he went on to say he had no choice. You see there’s 2 kinds of depression – one that you’re sort of born with (endogenous) and the other that is triggered by outside events (reactive).  Most of the cases he sees are reactive – ... Read More