Despair should be a scary emotion. An intruder: rattling like a cold wind through the mental living room, upsetting the furniture and knocking over the lamps.  But instead of showing it the door, I sometimes invite it in. I create space for it at the table and even seek it out. It’s a shadow – but it’s familiar and reassuring too. What’s really scary is not despair.  It’s actually Hope. With despair, you think you know what you’re getting.   It promises you safety – but this is a lie. You’re ... Read More

Burçin Esin, (click for image link) Once upon a time, there lived a couple called Glen and Emma. Glen and Emma lived in a big town but Glen had to find a job.  Glen was very worried about Emma because Emma was very sick. She didn’t want to move to the seaside town because she was frightened of meeting new people and going to a new place. But God brought them to a church full of lovely, warm-hearted Christians who looked after them and loved them and accepted them with all their issues. God brought them to a church that didn’t put ... Read More

From Deborah Orr, writing in the Guardian: 10 things not to say to someone who’s ill: 1. ‘I feel so sorry for you’ ‘…Do say: “I so wish you didn’t have to go through this ghastly time.” That acknowledges that you are still a sentient being, an active participant in your own drama, not just, all of a sudden, A Helpless Victim’. 2. ‘If anyone can beat this, it’s you’ ‘…Funnily enough, it’s not comforting to be told that you have to go into battle with your ... Read More

1. You are loved.   There are also people who care about you – even if you can’t see it or if you’ve lost someone close.  There are people who would care about you too, if you were to open up to them, even just a little. And more than this, God loves you.  That’s a life-changing, unalterable fact – not a greeting card sentiment. 2. You’re not in control, but that’s okay.  God is and He can be trusted. 3. God has created you and given you a life with purpose and meaning.  You might not feel it or ... Read More

It’s tempting to assume that churches are full of people who’ve got it together.  The Sunday morning freshly-scrubbed faces and starchy smiles that disguise altogether murkier and choppier depths.  The argument  that’s tidied away along with the breakfast dishes – or at least until the final hymn. Everyone else is fine.  You’re the only one with any issues. Of course, this is a nonsense idea.  Church is for those who recognise their need of a Saviour – not those who can manage on their own. But if ... Read More

I was reading an interview yesterday with Susan Boyle, (the singer who won X Factor and was catapulted from ordinary life to worldwide celebrity).  Understandably, Boyle struggled to cope with this transition and her mental health was gleefully discussed and dissected in the media. But more than the time she spent in therapy, I was struck by a phrase she’d learned from her mum: and one that I learned from mine too. ‘Baby steps’. ‘Baby steps’ means a number of things.  Firstly,  take it a little bit at a time. ... Read More

Woke up this morning feeling panicked. Then I read this, from Spurgeon: He will keep the feet of his saints. (1 Samuel 2:9) The way is slippery and our feet are feeble, but the Lord will keep our feet. If we give ourselves up by obedient faith to be His holy ones, He will Himself be our guardian. Not only will He charge His angels to keep us, but He Himself will preserve our goings. He will keep our feet from falling so that we do not defile our garments, wound our souls, and cause the enemy to blaspheme. He will keep our feet from wandering ... Read More

It’s been a dumpling of a week: one of those swampy, lumpy January bogs that feels like swimming through porridge. Things to do, but no poop for doing ‘em. A series of ever-decreasing circles: grey routines and baggy pants. But that’s quite enough wallowing.  Truth be told, my little rut’s gotten too cosy – time to strap on a rocket and blast out! Here’s The Plan: 1. get the Bible open.  So far I’ve been dipping my toe in a couple of devotionals/sermons (and they’re great), but not enough. ... Read More

In yesterday’s post I was reflecting on the ways in which we lie to each other: both upwards (‘hey, everybody! Come see how great I am’) and downwards (‘I’m a woorm, it was nothing, this ole’ thing? I just threw it on’ etcetc). Without wanting to make gender assumptions, in my experience women are more likely to lie ‘down’ and men to lie ‘up’.  (For a great analysis of this, see Kirsten’s comments). But when I consider the typical church environment, I wonder if these ... Read More

Recently I was listening to a sermon on Hebrews 12.  The passage says this: ‘Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us’. (v1-3) Now, I’m not the brightest match in the box. I’d always assumed the verses  meant this: ‘life’s funny isn’t it?  Bit like a stadium, where I’m the main event… (Yes, I Know how ridiculous this sounds, but wait, ... Read More