What does it mean to hold out Jesus to others? I’ve been thinking about this after a conversation I had with my mum. We were talking about what it means to be a Christian.  I desperately, desperately wanted her to understand. But the more I tried to explain, the deeper I foundered.     I knew what I wanted to say.  But the words got stuck somewhere between my brain and my mouth. I wanted to say that it’s all about grace.  From start to finish, there’s nothing we can do to earn salvation – it’s all a free ... Read More

Can I ever be known and wanted in the way I long for?   My heart says no. To be accepted, I must perform. But my performance is never enough. I’m not enough and neither is the god I imagine. Instead of a loving and generous Father, I envisage a slave-master: tight-fisted and ineffectual.   Why does it matter who I think God is?  Because what I believe about Him, determines whether or not we have a relationship. It’s one thing to have a loving Father.  It’s another to be disciplined into submission.   At Sunday ... Read More

My mum’s coming to visit tomorrow.  I’m excited – but nervous too. I love my mum. I wouldn’t change her. Except for one thing: I wish, I wish that she was a Christian. I became a Christian when I was 13.  It was a choice that placed me subtly, but firmly, outside of an uncomplicated family affinity. My parents, though sympathetic, were uncomprehending. And it changed our relationship and the way in which I viewed the world.  It called into question values that I had previously taken for granted.  And it raised (and ... Read More

It’s odd how our culture so often equates Christianity with a loss of identity. The idea runs something like this. To trust in Jesus is to settle into a carbon copy of pretend goodness.  His Holy Spirit wipes clean not just our sins, but any nasty traces of personality or passion. That’s it, my young disciple, unscrew your brain and pop it with your teeth into a glass by the bed, then proceed as directed to cosy mental infancy, clutching the Ten Commandments like a battered teddy bear. Of course this is nonsense. Time and ... Read More