Image: Caleb Magnino This evening I’ve giving a testimonial-talk. Ten years ago, I spoke just around the corner on the same theme. But I’m hoping that the content will have changed.  And I’m praying that the person speaking would be unrecognisable to her old self. Ten years ago I was studying at Bible college and in the grip of an eating disorder that would almost kill me.  For a while I managed to hide my obsession. I threw myself into church activities, missions and teaching.    I gave talks about the gospel and wrote ... Read More

Despair should be a scary emotion. An intruder: rattling like a cold wind through the mental living room, upsetting the furniture and knocking over the lamps.  But instead of showing it the door, I sometimes invite it in. I create space for it at the table and even seek it out. It’s a shadow – but it’s familiar and reassuring too. What’s really scary is not despair.  It’s actually Hope. With despair, you think you know what you’re getting.   It promises you safety – but this is a lie. You’re ... Read More

Are there some jobs that Christians shouldn’t be doing? If so, what are they? And based upon what criteria? I’m thinking Porn star is probably a no. But from that point onwards, it gets a little trickier. In yesterday’s post I applauded the decision of a lingerie model who felt that her work  was compromising her faith. I still think that her move was brave and godly. But maybe my reasons for thinking so are bad as well as good.  You see, there’s a bit of me that assumes all Christian lingerie models should do the ... Read More

No,  what we really need is A Lot of Religion. …Only joking. I reckon that religion is a bad thing.  In fact, I’d go so far as to blame it for some of my biggest mistakes. An eating disorder. Workaholism. OCD.  Addictions and self-harm.  Harming others. Misusing my gifts.  Materialism.  And  many other things that I hope remain hidden. I use the term religion in a specific sense. Not God. Not the gospel.  Not the church or the Bible or faith or any of the real stuff  about grace and what Jesus has done. No – ... Read More

Burçin Esin, (click for image link) Once upon a time, there lived a couple called Glen and Emma. Glen and Emma lived in a big town but Glen had to find a job.  Glen was very worried about Emma because Emma was very sick. She didn’t want to move to the seaside town because she was frightened of meeting new people and going to a new place. But God brought them to a church full of lovely, warm-hearted Christians who looked after them and loved them and accepted them with all their issues. God brought them to a church that didn’t put ... Read More

Every town has them. The addicts. Drunk or high, often before breakfast.  Not to be harsh, but  - damaged goods.    They’ve made their choices – and now they’re reaping the consequences.  Step aside and leave them to it. Cardboard cut-outs of people, greying and familiar – yet alien too: hardly human. Watch how they act. Sometimes so still – silent and solitary, even in their packs. Bent double, hunched, crumpled and defeated.A blank-eyed, hundred-yard stare. What are they thinking? But get their fix and ... Read More

1. You are loved.   There are also people who care about you – even if you can’t see it or if you’ve lost someone close.  There are people who would care about you too, if you were to open up to them, even just a little. And more than this, God loves you.  That’s a life-changing, unalterable fact – not a greeting card sentiment. 2. You’re not in control, but that’s okay.  God is and He can be trusted. 3. God has created you and given you a life with purpose and meaning.  You might not feel it or ... Read More

Funny old day, today.  Were it dancing for my entertainment, I’d remark kindly on its sequins, and then slam it with a 3. For starters, it’s a Monday, masquerading as a Tuesday.  No-one likes that.  Or the wrench as you shift your gears from holiday back to working (or not working) week. Then there was a trip to the hospital. Hospitals are strange places at the best of times.  Just think of the hundreds of life-changing conversations and procedures that are happening there, every minute.  And yet, even though they’re on ... Read More

When I was a little girl, there was no-one who could touch my dad.  In a confusing and threatening world, he was the still centre.  When he held me in his arms, no-one could hurt me.  Nothing could take me from him. My dad did a great job and I wouldn’t swap him for the world. But one of the hardest parts of growing up was the discovery that my dad was human – he didn’t have all the answers, he got sick and he hurt and he wouldn’t always be there – no matter how much he wanted to. A lot is made of the ... Read More

1. if Jesus didn’t rise from the dead, then He’s dangerous as well as deluded.  He’s not a nice bloke who got a bit confused.  He’s a megalomaniac and a perpetrator of lies. His followers are to be pitied as well as despised. 2. if he didn’t rise from the dead, then He’s not the Son of God.  He’s not a Saviour. And the gospel may be a ‘good’ way to live – but it’s completely ineffectual against death.  And suffering.  And despair. And most of all, sin. 3. if Jesus ... Read More