Living by Doubt

By July 20, 2017 Blog

Don’t listen to yourself. You are not the best judge of how you’re doing.  In fact, it’s most likely that you are the worst. I think, ‘I’m doing fine,” when I’m not.  I believe that I’m “hopeless and rubbish,” when I’m loved and chosen by God and filled by his Holy Spirit. I assume that, “I’ll never succeed so I’d better give up…” when true glory isn’t winning, but stepping out and stumbling on. There are a thousand reasons I …Read More

The Shape of Me: Guest Post

By July 11, 2017 Blog

Thanks so much to H for this brilliant guest post…   I am so, so caught with my appearance…I know this is only a symptom of deeper problems. Yet I just want to pause and ask the question, why am I so concerned with ‘the shape of me’? It is right to care how I present myself because I am not just my own person. Being concerned with ‘the shape of me’ is a desire that needs to be channelled, focused, redirected. I …Read More

Hot off the press

By July 10, 2017 Blog

Here’s a couple of articles I’ve written recently for Christianity and IDEA magazines. Thanks to these fab publications for letting me write – I really recommend them both. (Amaris – we will miss you!) One note – The IDEA feature was part of an issue on the theme of freedom.  They’ve called it, ‘How God set me free from an eating disorder’ – but my original title was ‘The shape of freedom’.  I think it fits the piece better (as it’s not simply about …Read More

The Antidote to Shame

By June 27, 2017 Blog

In Hebrew, the word for ‘shame’ goes beyond feeling embarrassed for yourself.  It’s about hoping in something foolish; (false gods are sometimes called “shame”). It’s the  anguish you feel when both you and the things in which you have trusted, are exposed. Idols are “things of shame” – false sources of confidence and identity. But their shame is contagious – they make us shameful too! Here’s the cycle: We go to shameful things to feel OK. They make us feel even more shameful, so …Read More

Ever so humble?

By May 17, 2017 Blog

James 4 says, ‘Humble yourself before the Lord.’ But what does this look like? Here’s one option.  If pride is “bigging myself up”, then  humility must be about putting myself down. In other words; self-hatred, pretending to be godly. (I hate myself but sell it as meekness). self-deprecation, ‘oh no, it was nothing,’ (just ALL MY HARD WORK). martyrdom, (glaring over the dishes whilst others relax and saying, ‘no, I’m Fine.  You just kick back and I’ll keep washing’). putting myself down to critical friends and …Read More

The Problem with ‘Authentic’

By April 30, 2017 Blog

I’ve got a problem with authenticity. I know – that sounds bad. Like saying I hate kittens. Or sunshine. Or happiness. Because authenticity is such a lovely, fluffy, catch-all term. Everyone wants it and everyone loves it. What’s not to like?   Here are some memes on authenticity: ‘By choosing to be our most authentic self, we leave a trail of magic wherever we go’  ‘There is nothing more beautiful than your authentic self’ ‘People who are true to their authentic …Read More

Glemma Podcast

By April 11, 2017 Blog

Glen and I waffling about my new book, (part of a series called The Evangelist’s Podcast, where he interviews folks about their faith). Plus bonus material on the antibacterial merits of garlic.   Share…

Shame-less

By April 6, 2017 Blog

A few days ago, I was taking Ruby for a walk. It was mid-afternoon and she was building a tower of pebbles on the beach. My phone (which had been off all day), buzzed with an urgent question from my publisher. So I tapped out a two sentence reply. In the time it took me to type, Ruby ran behind me and tripped over the pebbles. It was my fault.  I’d taken my eyes off her and she could have been hurt. …Read More

What Lent means to me

By March 2, 2017 Blog

I have mixed feelings about Lent. Part of me wants to throw myself into it with super-human resolve. Part of me fears I’ll do exactly this. I have a long history of eating disorders, depression and perfectionism.  Ask me to fast for 40 days and I’ll do forty-one. Tell me to do 40 press-ups and I’ll do 400. I’m all about a certain kind of ‘self-restraint.’ But it’s nearly killed me. You’ll tell me, rightly, that this is not what …Read More

Forked Tongue

By February 15, 2017 Blog

Satan whispers, “Don’t worry about that sin, that pattern, that temptation. It’s no big deal.’ Then when you fall for it, he shouts, “You’ve blown it! What a wretch you are! God won’t want to hear from you now, not for another fortnight at least. Not till you’ve made it all better.” But you can’t make it better. And the whispers start again. … ‘Stuck eh? Well what do you expect? Sin is in your genes – unavoidable, no matter how …Read More