What Lent means to me

By March 2, 2017 Blog

I have mixed feelings about Lent. Part of me wants to throw myself into it with super-human resolve. Part of me fears I’ll do exactly this. I have a long history of eating disorders, depression and perfectionism.  Ask me to fast for 40 days and I’ll do forty-one. Tell me to do 40 press-ups and I’ll do 400. I’m all about a certain kind of ‘self-restraint.’ But it’s nearly killed me. You’ll tell me, rightly, that this is not what …Read More

Forked Tongue

By February 15, 2017 Blog

Satan whispers, “Don’t worry about that sin, that pattern, that temptation. It’s no big deal.’ Then when you fall for it, he shouts, “You’ve blown it! What a wretch you are! God won’t want to hear from you now, not for another fortnight at least. Not till you’ve made it all better.” But you can’t make it better. And the whispers start again. … ‘Stuck eh? Well what do you expect? Sin is in your genes – unavoidable, no matter how …Read More

Ten Ways I’m Like Donald Trump

By October 17, 2016 Blog

I dislike everything he stands for and I’d happily campaign against him. But instead of just condemning his policies or his words; I find myself condemning him. And enjoying it. He makes me feel shocked. But I like being shocked. I want to see more. I want to reinforce how much better I am than he is.  How much more educated.  Smarter.  Kinder. Better. I’m better than he is, I think.  I would never speak his words; or do what he does. And …Read More

(No) Excuses for Relapse

By October 10, 2016 Blog

1. I’ve been working really hard and I deserve a break.  (Sorry, but no. Good on you for working hard; but the thing you want a break from is a life-dominating whirlpool of addiction that will suck you down if you dip your toe in). 2. I can handle it. (You can’t.  It’s bigger than you – which is why you need Jesus and other people and all the support you can get). 3. I’ve learned from my mistakes.  (Great! So don’t …Read More

Christianity is for the Mentally Ill

By September 26, 2016 Blog

Can I be a Christian and have mental health issues? YES. Jesus comes for everyone. But more than this, Jesus can be especially attractive to those of us who struggle in this way. Here’s why.. 1.     Jesus comes for the sick.  Time and time again, He reaches out to all those who know themselves to be weak…weak in body, weak in spirit, weak in mind.  He goes to those who cut themselves off from others and harm themselves; whether promiscuity (the woman at …Read More

Write Your Own Obituary

By August 22, 2016 Blog

She excelled in everything she did. She was charismatic and attractive. She knew what she wanted – and she got it.   Nope.  Barbara Cartland heroine.  The sort of woman I’d cross the world to avoid. Try again:   She kept a lovely home.  She had excellent taste in furnishings. She knew exactly what colours suited her best. She recycled and occasionally gave blood. She worked hard and had moderate success in her chosen field. She rarely had a bad hair day. …Read More

The Loudest Voice

By August 14, 2016 Blog

I am SICK of the voices. “Not good enough.” “Should do better.” “Must try harder.” “Fed-up.  Useless.  Hopeless.”  “Shameful.” If anyone else spoke to me like this, I’d cut them off. “You’re not my friend,” I’d tell them. “Get out of my life.” If someone spoke them to my daughter, I wouldn’t bother with words.  I’d punch them.  I’d push them over and pull them very close.  I’d whisper, “if you feed her these lies – the lies you told me, the lies I tell myself …Read More

My Wheelchair is a Tool, Not a Box

By August 10, 2016 Blog

This week we have a guest post from the “marvellous” Elizabeth B :-)… … The church service has come to an end and I’m wending my way towards the exit, mingling as I go. She’s coming over in my direction and her smile, full of kindly intent, triggers a sense of impending danger in me. It’s going to be one of those conversations. “Hello” “Hello” “Do you get help?” I instantly recognise that this, apparently random, question is prompted by …Read More

Don’t Settle

By July 25, 2016 Blog

I don’t need to settle for a life half-lived. I’m not the lies I’ve always believed I’m not the patterns that I once learned I’m not the person that I’ve always been. I’m frightened; but I am not my fears. I am not in control; but that is good. I will not be bound by the chains that Christ has broken I will not despise what He calls precious I don’t believe in shame or self-hatred or self-improvements I believe in Jesus …Read More

In It Together

By July 21, 2016 Blog

Sometimes I look at other Christians and think, “you guys have got it together; but I’m a mess. Your problems are fix-able; mine are too much!” This is not the truth and it’s not the shape of gospel community.  In real community, we carry one another and we share our mutual struggles.   You’re not the fixer and I’m not a project. You’re not “fine” and I’m not “a mess.” We have different struggles and at different points we might need extra …Read More