I’ve got a stonking female Christian friend.  Properly properly gorgeous – inside and out. I’d practically marry her meself. She’s sold out for Jesus, other-centered, humble, funny and a fox to boot. She’s also single  and has been for a while. But nothing’s happening. And it seems like the Christian guys around her tend to opt for one of two approaches. They either: a.) don’t do anything (even though they might be interested) or b.) forge ahead, whilst trying to keep All (and I mean all) their ... Read More

What does a ‘real’ man look like? The guy on the billboard, all pecs and ego? The metrosexual with guyliner and man-bag? A misogynist brute, enslaved to his hormones? Mr Fix-it, good with his hands?  The sports-mad Jock, just one of the lads? Is he the darling of rom-com hero:  sensitive, soulful and close to his mum? Or an all-action hero: hard as nails,  with no time for sentiment or weakness? Each day we’re presented with wildly differing images of masculinity. What we’re rarely shown is anything approaching ... Read More

Forget Alpha.  The latest evangelistic strategy for the modern church is this: seeker-friendly cage-fighting. Just one example of a  variety of ‘mixed martial arts’, (MMA). MMA is being hailed in some quarters as an expression of biblical masculinity. In the film ‘Fighting Politics‘ the pastor Mark Driscoll argues for its legitimisation as a sport, by saying: ‘“I don’t think there is anything purer than two guys in a cage. ..As a pastor and as a Bible teacher, I think that God made men masculine…Men ... Read More

We read a lot today about sexism. I tend to look at it from a woman’s perspective – and there’s no question that such misogyny exists.  But prejudice cut both ways.  Whilst waving the banner for equality, I wonder if we practise something very different.  Are we emasculating the very men we’re telling to grow up? It seems to me that we’re part of a culture that continually puts men down.  Get a group of women together and it’s not long before we start complaining about our partners.  The stupid things ... Read More

So, apparently men are genetically programmed to have affairs. Actually, that’s not quite true. Sexy men, manly men, ‘real’ men – 100 per cent prime beef men, they’re the ones ‘driven’ by testosterone to seek solace in far-flung beds. And cars and hotel rooms and…oh, never mind. But make no mistake, we’re not talking about Travel Lodge. According to Dr John Gray, author of ‘Men are from Mars’ (or is it Uranus? Moving on..) – powerful men have a higher than average level of ... Read More

It’s easy to think that when it comes to body image and insecurity, we women have a monopoly.  Yet as the rise of eating disorders and depression in men indicates, this is far from true.  When it comes to self-esteem and gender expectations, Batman may be just as damaging as Barbie. There’s a reason why Mr Right is described as tall, dark and handsome.  For guys, size matters – and it’s more than just a cliché.   As Nancy Etcoff observes in her book, ‘Survival of the Prettiest: The Science of Beauty’, men who are above ... Read More

It’s Glen here.  I’ve wrested the keyboard from Emma for this one. Recently I’ve heard of worrying numbers of Christian women speaking furtively, fleetingly, but no less seriously about plastic surgery – botox, lipo, boob jobs, face lifts. Let me speak on behalf of 3 billion members of the human race.  Stop.  Cease.  Desist.   And not because blokes don’t care about physical attraction.  Of course we do.  Stop because you’re fueling the ugliest thing in the world – insecurity. And I don’t just mean that, on ... Read More

Following on from yesterday’s post, Glen’s written his own ‘how I react to nagging’. It’s like Oprah in the Scrivener household, let me tell you.  FEEL THE LOVE. Here’s what he says; Emma’s posted up 22 reasons she nags.  Twenty two!  She must suppress her urges a lot because that’s not how I experience things.  (Hmmmmm – Ed). But given that she might not be alone in harbouring such urges, and given that men are responsible for birthing and exacerbating many of those urges I thought I’d post ... Read More

Although eating disorders are more common in women, they’re a big issue for guys too. Many of the risk factors for men and women are the same – body fascism, for example, is just as pervasive in the pages of ‘Men’s Health’ as it is in ‘Cosmo’. Consider too, the purposes of an eating disorder – to deal with emotional conflict or stress, to create identity, to exercise control. These are human, rather than female concerns. And I wonder if women aren’t actually given more freedom than ... Read More

Just before my hubby and I got married, we met up for dinner with a vicar friend of ours, what’s known in the trade as a ‘wise old chief’. He’s just finished saying grace when, mid-fork, he grabbed Glen and I by the wrist and eyeballed us in a steely glare. ‘Emma’, he barked. ‘Respect your husband. Praise him’ He turned to Glen and continued, ‘Glen – love your wife. Never, never, never put her down’. And with that, his eyebrows relaxed and he dropped our now limp ... Read More