Christmas and Alcohol

By December 20, 2013 Blog

If you work for the emergency services, then today is what’s known as ‘Mad Friday’. As folks finish work and let off steam for the holidays, one pint can turn into seven…and there’s a massive increase in calls and hospital admissions. It’s especially tough if you’re working in the UK; alcohol consumption increases by 40% in December – and we’re already top of the leader board. Psychologists call it ‘legitimised deviancy’ – basically get-out-of-jail-free days, when the rules of normal human …Read More

Getting past your past

By November 27, 2013 Blog

A few weeks ago, we had a powerful guest post from a man who struggles with porn addiction. He talked with great remorse of how it had impacted his marriage; and of the battles he and his wife continue to face.  One question keeps coming back to me and it’s this: how do we move forward when we can’t undo the past? This is something I have had to think through – and still ask.  For years I routinely lied …Read More

Self-Help-Less

By October 23, 2013 Blog

I’m meant to be writing a follow-up book to A New Name. Meant to, because I’m still at the planning stage.  There’s different reasons for this.  I’ve done some speaking and blogging. IVF has occupied most of this year – and I haven’t been able to face it. Also there’s laziness and sheer, unadulterated fear. I’ve had a couple of ideas floating around.  The stuff I know about is eating disorders – so it would make sense to do something …Read More

I Got No Answers, But I’m Here

By October 2, 2013 Blog

Right then. Come sit down.  And instead of dancing round it, let’s actually talk. I know you’re scared. Part of you wants this; and part of you wants to run. Please – stay.  Just hear me out. I don’t want to hurt you, or threaten you or take away your freedom.  I’m talking to you now because I love you and this is the best I know how. I can’t rescue you or make it better. I can’t fight the …Read More

Help: My Child Has An Eating Disorder

By September 11, 2013 Blog

You suspect your child may have an eating disorder.  What now? First, don’t panic. There’s a difference between picky eating and an eating disorder:  many children have phases where mealtimes are tricky so it might be nothing. (See here for possible signs). Most kids who develop anorexia do so between the ages of 11 and 14 (although it can start as early as age 6), and there are many reasons why. However, go with your guts. If you suspect something is wrong, talk to …Read More

The Impossible Truth

By September 5, 2013 Blog

You don’t have to be an addict to have a relapse. And you don’t need to hit rock bottom before making a new start. Today is that start.  Not this morning.  Not last night.  Right now. Everything can be different. Easy words. Cheap. Perhaps you’ve heard them all before. You can be everything you want to be.   Nothing to fear but fear itself.  Save them for a greeting card, Emma.  You know nothing of who I am or where …Read More

Do Everything Different

By August 19, 2013 Blog

‘Do everything different.’ That’s what they tell addicts who are trying to kick old habits. Not just one thing.  Not just a slight variation.  Everything. Do everything different. I don’t like different. I like same.  Everything same.  Nice and neat, with locks and labels.  Ritual and routine,  wrap it round me and keep the bad things out. Everything The things I tend to do.  The situations I tend to avoid. Different My time and my money.   What I eat.  What I wear. …Read More

Stay On The Bank

By August 15, 2013 Blog

I’ve been asked for advice. ‘A friend of mine is anorexic. We’re reading the Bible together and I’m really worried about her,  but I don’t know how to help.  What should I say?’ Some thoughts.. 1. There’s no simple answer. And 2. It’s definitely not you. If you want to help your friend, then recognise what you can’t do. You can’t take responsibility for her: and you can’t rescue her, especially as she’s an adult. I know you want to. But …Read More

Different Ending

By June 5, 2013 Blog

A few weeks ago I wrote about a friend who went to the GP for help with disordered eating.  (See post here). Sadly, she had a very bad experience. It’s hard enough asking for support once; and no-one would blame her if she gave up there.  But she’s a very brave woman and after lots of prayer and encouragement,  went back to the same practice but with a different doctor.   Her circumstances are the same as they were last …Read More

Getting Help For An Eating Disorder: 4

By May 1, 2013 Blog

See also posts one, two and three. There will be times when you’re still tempted to go back to old behaviours or eating disordered thinking. Don’t panic. Recovery can involve recognising ED thoughts and feelings but not acting on them. Meal planning is a vital part of this and one where others can help. For Carers: How to help with eating: Routine will help sufferers feel safer, especially in the early stages of recovery.  Work out when you will eat, where, …Read More