We will miss you

By March 13, 2017 Blog

We were drowning; and no-one knew what to do. The doctor said he couldn’t help. A pastor with more than 20 years of experience said ‘this is too much.’ We felt like giving up; like we’d gone beyond hope.  But where the experts failed; ordinary Christians stood in the gaps. Folks like Mike and Heather Ovey; our tutor and his wife. Week after week they invited us into their home and listened to us and prayed with us and made us feel …Read More

I said I was Fine…

By December 6, 2016 Blog

But here’s what I mean… I’m in a rush I think I’m going to cry but don’t know you well enough to say so I’m not sure how I feel, and I’m too knackered to figure it out I’m English I’m filtering: are you interested enough to keep asking? I don’t want to burden you I want you to read my mind I don’t know how to ask for help I feel I ought to be fine I’m ashamed of being needy This is …Read More

Doing Church When You’re Not Feeling It

By November 30, 2016 Blog

Be honest.  If you find social events difficult, say so. If large groups make you panic, share it.  Don’t just shut up and shut down. People can’t help or empathise if they don’t know how you’re feeling. Don’t cut out relationships because you sometimes find them tricky.  Yes, you like time by yourself.  But you’re human – so you need other people. Instead of spreading yourself thin with everyone, focus on going deep with a few folks you trust. If a whole room …Read More

No Place Like (Church) Home

By October 23, 2016 Blog

I love my church family.  I’m typing this now, because they are babysitting my daughter.  When she comes home, she’ll be grinning from ear to ear; and knowing she is safe and happy – I am too. I love my study group.  We’re completely different women from all walks of life – but we share our questions, our struggles and our hearts.  We’re real about our struggles and yet, they inspire me to live for Jesus; more than any perfect motivational speaker or book. I love …Read More

Motherhood Myths

By September 16, 2016 Blog

After a whole twenty months of being a parent,  I’m the very opposite of an expert. But here are some of the things I’m learning, (many from other, wiser teachers)… 1   Parenthood does not complete you.  It is a precious, precious gift; but it doesn’t make you less or more of a woman or man, or more or less valuable.  This is easy to say when you’ve got a child, (just like it’s easy to say that “singleness is good” from the …Read More

My Wheelchair is a Tool, Not a Box

By August 10, 2016 Blog

This week we have a guest post from the “marvellous” Elizabeth B :-)… … The church service has come to an end and I’m wending my way towards the exit, mingling as I go. She’s coming over in my direction and her smile, full of kindly intent, triggers a sense of impending danger in me. It’s going to be one of those conversations. “Hello” “Hello” “Do you get help?” I instantly recognise that this, apparently random, question is prompted by …Read More

As You Are

By July 13, 2016 Blog

Comparisons are an unavoidable part of life. They start from the moment you’re born. “Who does she take after?” “Ooh, she’s got her dad’s nose/mum’s temper.” And on it goes… “How old is she?  Is she walking yet?  At her age, our Jimmy could somersault.” You try to resist them. You brush them off. “Ah, she’ll do it in her own time.” But like dust, they settle.  The doubts and the shoulds… “She should be crawling.” “She should be talking.” “We should be worried…” But what’s the …Read More

Split Vote

By July 4, 2016 Blog

We voted, Glen and I. We talked about it and we prayed about it. We both did our research and we both sought advice from wise Christian friends. Both of us could justify our decisions and both felt that we knew the right thing to do. But I voted to remain and Glen voted to leave. And we are still together.   I don’t think he’s pro-racist, he doesn’t think I’m anti-democratic. He’s not crowing in victory and I’m not …Read More

Growing Grown-Ups

By May 11, 2016 Blog

We were speaking in Birmingham over the weekend.  During the q and as, one question kept coming up.  How do we protect our children from  depression, self-hatred and anxiety?  How can we raise them to be strong, but weak in all the right ways? I wish I knew the answer.   So I asked some friends. Here’s some of their wisdom – and please share yours. don’t try and be perfect.  Kids don’t need perfect parents (and trying will kill us), but they …Read More

Welcoming An Adopted Child: Guest Post

By April 5, 2016 Blog

Today’s guest post is from Jane, who is married with three children. Hannah (7) and Ben (5) are her birth children and she has recently adopted Star (4) who has Down’s Syndrome. Here’s her advice on helping birth siblings welcome a new arrival… 1. Involve birth children in the adoption conversation early We first discussed adoption with our birth children approximately two years before Star arrived. In fact we talked to them before we spoke to anyone else. At that …Read More