Sitting in a cafe earlier, I was ear-wigging on two conversations to my right and left. (Research, I tell you, not nosiness). On my right were three business-men. In their pinstriped glory they exuded testosterone: from the shiny abundance of lego-man hair, to the palpable emissions of Manly Scent.  Man A necked a triple espresso as Man B gesticulated wildly at a pie-chart on his laptop.  Man C tapped notes into his glossy I-phone, punctuating B’s sales pitch with guffaws of derision. In the space of several minutes, the interchange ... Read More

For months now you’ve been furtively eyeing up/stalking the object of your affection.  Months spent feigning interest in the finer aspects of rugby/shopping/German sci-fi.  Finally, they ask you out.  The night of the big date you turn up late, drink too much and end up talking about your ex. They never contact you again. Or – you’re chasing your dream job.  After a series of rigorous interviews and exams, you’re finally on the home stretch.  It’s basically a formality – until you end up saying how ... Read More

One of the worst things about sin and suffering are how they isolate you. Your struggles are bad enough, but the real killer isn’t the issue itself, it’s trying to cover it up. You feel ashamed or weird and so you back off from other people.  Even if you haven’t done anything wrong, you feel like you’ve got something to hide.  You act like you’re revolting and then you start to believe  it. You become a self-fulfilling shame prophecy. Like Mr Messy, all tangled feelings and inside-out. It seems simpler to ... Read More

Glen here.  How much thought do you give to the Priesthood of Jesus?  It seems to me to be a much neglected teaching.  But it’s absolutely crucial, especially when thinking about mental illness. What’s it all about?  Well here’s Job, Paul and the writer to the Hebrews… “Even now my witness is in heaven; my advocate is on high. My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God; on behalf of a man he pleads with God as a man pleads for his friend.”  (Job 16:18-20) “Christ Jesus… is ... Read More

Fear of vomiting. Or ‘Emetophobia’, if you want the technical term. You may never have heard of it, but get this – it’s one of the top five phobias. Let’s start with what it’s not. It’s not something trivial.  Nor is it ‘not really liking’ throwing up.  (As if anyone enjoys it). Instead, this is a fear of throwing up  that can leave sufferers being desperate and even suicidal. It is - Embarrassing.  Frightening.  Little understood. And sometimes serious. Here’s how one woman describes the implications for ... Read More

A  new generation of frightened, unhappy and overmedicated young women are having sex too soon. So argues Wendy Shalit, in ‘A Return to Modesty: Rediscovering The Lost Virtue’.   This was published back in 1999, but I’ve been re-reading her arguments in relation to self-harm and eating disorders. Shalit’s thesis is that sexual equality has forced women to repress their natural sexual modesty. We’re having too much sex, too soon – and this is why we’re experiencing such an epidemic of eating disorders. Why, she asks, do ... Read More

Women who undergo plastic surgery have a much higher risk of killing themselves, say experts in the journal, Current Psychiatry Reports. Cosmetic surgery patients also had a three-times higher rate of death due to self-harming acts, such as binge-drinking, drug overdoses and reckless driving. Their conclusions were based on five large-scale, independent studies, which found that the suicide rate is up to three times higher in women who have had breast implants. Another report published in the journal Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery also ... Read More

I don’t know about you, but when I was at school I used to hate sports.  Especially ‘team’ sports.  Anything where you’d get lined up against the wall feigning nonchalence whilst inwardly screaming at some leggy blonde athlete, PICK ME!!!!! PICK ME!!!!!!!!!!  There’d come a point in term where it would all become too much and, clutching my guts and writhing on the floor I’d blackmail Mum into writing me a note.  ’Dear Mrs Crumblebum, Emma will not be able to take part in Netball today as she has ... Read More

Just reading a disturbing article in today’s Sunday Times. According to the NSPCC, the number of children it counsels about suicide has risen threefold in some areas since 2003.  Figures obtained by the Times for hospital admissions over the past decade suggest that ‘even small children may feel such despair that they attempt suicide…in 2008-9 six toddlers aged four or less were taken to hospital as a result of intentional self-harm.  Twenty children aged between five and nine were admitted under the same ... Read More

Here’s the next installment of the seminar I gave on the weekend. Extract: Eating Disorders and Self Harm Spiralling Down – How They’re Addictive •    Addictive – physically and psychologically. What starts as the solution, becomes the problem. •    Creates a sense of being in control but then becomes very out of control. •    In ED, sufferers may experience a ‘whirlpool effect’, where as weight is lost the person experiences a physical ‘high’ and thinking and reasoning is effected, ... Read More