What Mercy Sounds Like

By August 13, 2018 Blog

Guest post from Glen. In ‘Unapologetic: Why, despite everything, Christianity can still make surprising emotional sense’, Francis Spufford describes the beginning of his conversion. It started with an argument with his wife. A huge, all-night argument that left them bruised and broken: “When daylight came, the whole world seemed worn out. We got up and she went to work. I went to a café… and nursed my misery along with a cappuccino.” In the cafe, Spufford surveys the scene: “I could …Read More

Girls and self-harm

By August 9, 2018 Blog

In the news this week: the number of teenage girls who self-harm have almost doubled in the past 20 years•. Here’s an excerpt from an email I received several years ago, from someone who was struggling: “…I go to a private school and self-harm is not spoken about enough.  I’ve recently been isolating myself a lot more after I was told I had to wear a cardigan under my blazer because I have scars on my wrist. I also have …Read More

The Wounded Healer

By November 9, 2015 Blog

There’s a girl who is hurting.  She says she’s ok. But her scars tell you different.  She says ” look away.” Others have hurt her. They seem to have gone. But she says she can’t stop it and everything’s wrong. It doesn’t make sense.  She says, Stop Being Weird. But the pain she controls is what squashes her fears. Because it works; and nothing else does. Because the people she loves hurt her; and now the pain feels like love. Because she needs to …Read More

Alternatives

By August 12, 2014 Blog

It’s ok to feel overwhelmed. But before you listen to lies or reach for old habits, try some of these: 1. pray 2. stop and breathe 3. read the Bible or listen to it read to you 4. scribble on sheets of paper. 5. pray for someone else 6. write a list of things that worry you. Pray them through, then bin them 7. be with other people. 8. watch your favourite TV show. 9. post on web boards or try answering other people’s posts. 10. phone …Read More

Sunshine and Scars

By May 20, 2014 Blog

Most of us love the sunshine. My husband is no exception.The merest hint of a sunbeam and he’s outside, charging after tennis balls, singing and muttering about cricket. It’s like a disease. And were it not for my total commitment to darkness and misery, I might be tempted to join in. (But I’m Northern Irish.  So I fight it). I have to say though, I see his point. After all, what’s not to like about stripping off and basking in …Read More

Silencing Self-Harm

By February 24, 2014 Blog

An email I received after yesterday’s post, (quoted with permission): “I just read your post from yesterday and I just wanted to say I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. I go to a private school and self-harm is not spoken about enough.  I’ve recently been isolating myself a lot more after I was told I had to wear a cardigan under my blazer because I have scars on my wrist. I also have a friend at another …Read More

A Safe Space

By April 23, 2013 Blog

If you self-harm; it doesn’t mean you’re weird or disgusting or sick. It might mean you never learned how to deal with bad feelings. It might mean you’ve forgotten how to put those feelings into words. It might mean you’ve been listening to lies for a long time now. And maybe you think you can’t be accepted. It might mean you desperately want to be noticed. It might mean you want to hide. It might mean all of these things …Read More

Self-Harm Info

By March 1, 2013 Blog

Today is self-harm awareness day. Below I’ll lay out some of the facts and figures but before I do, let me make a plea: Self-harm is not someone else’s struggle.  It’s not a strange practice for the unhinged.  I say that because some seem baffled at self-injury and yet… it’s in us all. We might not pick up a blade or drink bleach but all of us know what it is to sabotage ourselves. Whether it’s eating that food we …Read More

Self-help for Self-harm

By November 16, 2012 Blog

Self-harm is an umbrella term for any behaviour, action or habit, which can cause damage to your health. This can include cutting, but also includes overeating, taking drugs, smoking and drinking too much alcohol. It’s a wide area that covers a whole range of actions. Self-injury is the term used to describe deliberate acts of hurting yourself – so this may be cutting, burning, head banging, pulling out your own hair etc. Self-harming behaviour includes acts that cause short and …Read More

I Kind of Like It In Here

By July 4, 2012 Blog

Dear, dear, dear. Dug myself into a right old hole today and am only just surfacing now. Woke up feeling out of sorts, like I’d bruise if someone looked at me. Instead of fighting it, I flung myself at an old flame: self-pity.   I know he’s a jerk,  – but there’s something about a bad boy.  You know he’s gonna hurt you, but you can’t stop going back. Except that you can.  Stop, I mean.  It’s not easy: breaking …Read More