From Deborah Orr, writing in the Guardian: 10 things not to say to someone who’s ill: 1. ‘I feel so sorry for you’ ‘…Do say: “I so wish you didn’t have to go through this ghastly time.” That acknowledges that you are still a sentient being, an active participant in your own drama, not just, all of a sudden, A Helpless Victim’. 2. ‘If anyone can beat this, it’s you’ ‘…Funnily enough, it’s not comforting to be told that you have to go into battle with your ... Read More

Here’s something really horrible. One of my friends has been sick for a long time. We’ve been ‘poorly buddies’, picking one another up and encouraging each other when we have nasty days. She’s really been struggling and we’ve been praying for ages for a breakthrough. It seems that those prayers have been answered in a miraculous way. She’s  started getting much, much better and her life has been transformed. Yet here’s the thing. Mentally, I am thrilled for her.  But on a visceral, gut level, ... Read More

Well, here we are again. Am I alone in feeling like Mondays wear roller-skates?  It’s barely the weekend and then – whoosh! New week.  Sunday might be the technical start, but there’s a psychological shift when the clock tips over into the weekday. Plus, Mondays always seem to throw up new challenges.  Well, I say new, but that’s a complete misnomer.  Is it just me, or do you spend a lot of your life going over old ground?  The same battles, albeit from different angles.  A Groundhog life, without Bill ... Read More

No-one likes being sick – whether in body or in soul.  It’s a reminder of our frailty and mortality.  It stops us doing the things that give us identity.  Even in short bursts, it can be isolating, depressing, wearying.  But when it goes on for a long time – that’s a real killer. To start with, it’s not so bad.  There are options.  Doctors to see, remedies to try. But the days turn into months.  Months turn into years. As the avenues of hope close off, we too can close down. Our world becomes smaller.  ... Read More

What’s the condition that doctors fear most? Cancer? AIDS?  According to a report by Time magazine, it’s actually this –  Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), perhaps better termed, ‘Emotional Intensity Disorder’. Marsha Linehan, one of the world’s leading experts on BPD, describes it as follows: ‘Borderline individuals are the psychological equivalent of third-degree-burn patients. They simply have, so to speak, no emotional skin. Even the slightest touch or movement can create immense ... Read More

Are there some conditions where you’d be better off just not knowing? Illnesses or disorders which, when identified can be a help – but also a hindrance.  Not simply in the way that other people view them, but the way you view yourself? I’m thinking for example, of depression.  I can’t speak for anyone else who struggles, but in my own life I’ve  wondered if having an official label has done me more harm than good. Here’s some of the pros: 1. it has helped me to recognise that my feelings can’t be ... Read More

The NHS issues about 40 million prescriptions a year to deal with depression.  That’s twice the number prescribed a decade ago. Recently I cornered a GP on this issue. I asked him if he felt that doctors generally were over-prescribing antidepressants. Without  blinking, he said yes. But he went on to say he had no choice. You see there’s 2 kinds of depression – one that you’re sort of born with (endogenous) and the other that is triggered by outside events (reactive).  Most of the cases he sees are reactive – ... Read More

Labels matter. Perhaps we see this most clearly in the area of medicine and health. Take for example, the term, ‘disease’. A disease is a  ’pathological condition of a part, organ, or system of an organism .. characterized by an identifiable group of signs or symptoms’. Sounds simple, right? But what about mental health? Do mental health conditions qualify as disease? Tipper Gore is one of those who argues yes.   ‘One of the most widely believed and most damaging myths is that mental illness is not a physical ... Read More

Do you ever feel like you’re locked inside yourself? You want to reach out, but the words just aren’t there.  Maybe you’re not even sure how you’re feeling.  Maybe you’re too tired to bother.  Maybe you’ve been hurt in the past and are frightened of being rejected again. Whatever the reason for it, being ‘locked in’ is a horrible place to be.  But imagine if this was a physical as well as a psychological reality.  Imagine if you were fully conscious of every detail of your life, but unable ... Read More

The relationship between mental disorder and genius has been raging since the days of Aristotle, who claimed that one could not exist without the other. It’s been particularly linked to the mania (‘high’ moods) that accompanies bipolar disorder.  Famous sufferers of bipolar disorder include  Van Gogh, Kurt Cobain, Stephen Fry, Ernest Hemingway and Vivien Leigh. Yet, as a close friend with bipolar disorder argues,  all the brains in the world aren’t much use if you can’t get out of bed. So what is bipolar disorder? Or, as it used ... Read More