Life is a cup half-full. At least, from the perspective of this grumblebum. Reverse optimism people – if you’re convinced that Very Bad Things will happen, then the actual outcome is usually a big improvement.
This theory has been comprehensively proved by scientists at Battersea. Okay, not quite scientists – dogs.
Now dogs seem like quite a jolly lot. Unlike cats, who are permanently angry. Plus Battersea Dogs’ Home makes the Ritz look cheap. Lovely staff, classic FM piped through the speakers and cushions scented with coffee (aka dog ‘uppers’) or, for a more chilled experience, vanilla. (This is not a joke).
But a steady stream of food, visitors and patting, accompanied by the sounds of the Hallelujah Chorus has proved the setting for a terrifying new condition. ‘Happy Tail’
‘Happy Tail’ is the joy that kills. A genuine condition where, so possessed with glee, doggies repeatedly whack their tails off the walls and must have the offending appendages bandaged and sealed off so they can’t do themselves any more damage.
Happiness you see, is a dangerous thing. I’ll have no part of it.