I don’t have a neat answer, but it’s a stonking question.
I know the perameters of the answer and that’s ‘the gospel’. But in the same way as ‘Jesus’ tends to be a pretty good bet if you’re asked something in Sunday school – it needs unpacking.
Specifically- how do you get the gospel from your head to your heart? What I mean is this: if I say I ‘know’ a lot of truths – but those same truths aren’t impacting how I live and relate, then they’re really a waste of space. Dust-gathering ornaments on the brain shelf: pretty but pointless.
And this is sometimes what I do to the gospel. I translate a life-transforming relationship with Jesus into a set of neat precepts or blessed thoughts. ‘Try and be nice’. (I have, and I’m not. Next).
‘Jesus has purchased me and I belong to Him’. Yes, yes, I Know this already. Which is precisely why I spend so much time bathing in that love and resting in His presence.
Not tarting up my exterior. Or worrying about what others think. Or doing busy stuff or proving I’m a worthwhile person…No, no, that would be really silly. Right?
So why has this truth got stuck en route from the brain to the guts?
In part, it’s too good to be true. Imagine, not having to perform to be loved. Stepping off the hamster wheel and knowing yourself to be loved, valued, at peace and accepted. Wouldn’t that be awesome?
But in part, it’s also too bad to be true. Imagine, not having to perform to be loved. Stepping off the hamster wheel and knowing yourself to be loved, valued, at peace and accepted. Wouldn’t that be terrifying?
Before I think about why I can’t change, I’m forced to step back and ask if I actually want to. Now there’s a question.