You’re in The Pit. You can’t see any way out. You feel like you can’t go forward but you just can’t go back. You don’t know who you are or what you want. You’re scared of the future and ashamed of the past. Maybe you’re on your own. Maybe you’re watching someone you love. But you’re tired. Tired of giving out and tired of giving in. It seems like everything is black and you can’t go on. … Stop. Breathe. Breathe …Read More
Telephone conversation with my mum: Me: ‘Hi mum, what you up to?’ Mum: ‘oh nothing really. I slept in till eight! ‘ Me: ‘Yeah?’ Mum:’I know – disgusting: all I do is rest! Your father was snoring again so I didn’t get down till about two. I lay there as long as I could but it was boring so I thought, may as well make myself useful. The cat was moaning so I fed her. Then I thought, …Read More
What’s harder to deal with: kindness – or cruelty? The answer seems obvious. Everyone likes getting gifts. And no-one likes being treated badly. Given the choice between encouragement or criticism, we’d all opt for encouragement. It would be crazy not to. …Right? So why is it that kindness can be the thing that breaks us? It makes us weep. More than onions or bad news. Devastating, undeserved kindness. The sort that I’m struggling to process right now. For years …Read More
Did you ever have non-uniform days at school? At ours, they were a major event, requiring weeks of advance planning and worried consultations. At school at least, what you wore could really change your life. It was a grand unveiling -where the shape of your jeans determined how much you were worth. Or a variation in the colour of your laces could send you plummeting from popularity to social obscurity. A peer-judged audition for your place on the social ladder. A …Read More
Questions are a good tool for getting to know others. Or at least, they should be. But sometimes the things we ask can keep others at a distance, instead of inviting them in. They can reveal more about us and what we value, than the people we’re talking with. Example: I’m at a wedding and sitting next to a Christian I have never met. I don’t ask: ‘what’s been inspiring you recently or what do you love most about Jesus?’ …Read More
Yesterday I wrote a bit about my experience of antidepressants. For me, they’ve been useful – especially in periods when I’ve been unable to function or have felt utterly overwhelmed by feelings of despair and sadness. Saying this, I don’t think they’re a solution in themselves – and they also raise important questions about if and how we medicate our emotions. Here’s a great guest post from David. It was originally published as a comment on The Guardian blog: “I am …Read More
I’ve been on and off anti depressants since I was about 22. I used to feel embarrassed about it, but now I’m not. I’d rather not take them, just like I’d rather not take lemsip when I get the cold. But there have been times in my life when they have really, really helped. Genuine depression is more than temporary sadness or feeling a bit low. It’s a hoover, that sucks up hope and personality and then has the cheek to deny its …Read More
School feels like a long time ago, but some memories are still very fresh. Geography was an Aran jumper, chunky and reassuring: we coloured in volcanoes and went to the beach to count rocks. History smelled of cigars and rotting flesh: Robespierre, Henry VIII and the Aztecs, ripping out humans hearts and biting into them with blood-drenched fingers. In Home Economics we were shown how to put a condom on a cucumber and then used the remains in a Waldorf …Read More
Yep. Just like we don’t get measles or parking tickets. BUNKUM. I wish we didn’t, just like I wish we didn’t get sick or depressed or sad or any of the other messy stuff that makes us human. But sadly we do. It might look that way, but Christians aren’t people who are ‘fixed’. We’re people who are broken and weak – but we have a Saviour who is glorious and loving and strong. Many thanks to everyone who’s been …Read More
Can I ask you something? Bit personal, sorry. It’s about your body. I was wondering, do you fit it? Yeah, I know. Sounds a bit weird. It’s just that, being honest, I don’t fit mine. Sure, I’m in it, but that’s not the same thing. Sometimes I rattle around in it like a piece of broken cutlery. At other times, my skin feels so tight I can hardly breathe. I’ve been thinking about this after reading an article in the Guardian about …Read More
