It’s hard to be honest with yourself and it’s hard to be honest with others. But the way I see it, we don’t have a choice. You can’t do this alone: it’s crushing you and every day you sink a little deeper. Fighting it feels bad. But you are not your struggles. And you know what – if you don’t fight back, you still feel bad, just in a different way. There’s no middle ground – and no-one drifts into recovery. If it …Read More
This week I’ve spoken to very different people who have one thing in common. Their lives and families and marriages and dreams have been ripped apart by eating disorders. Not just anorexia. Bulimia. Binge-eating. And the ones without labels that are just as serious. A husband who’s quit his job and is now a full-time carer for a wife who wants to die. An eighty year-old who has fought anorexia since she was a teen and whose daughter and now grand-daughter are sufferers too. …Read More
What matters in your life? Now, what are your priorities? Take a moment to think it through: perhaps, like me, your first answer may differ from your last. Sometimes the urgent takes priority over the essential. But it’s hard to tell the difference – and harder still to get them right. Here’s some of the things that matter to me: Friendships. Bible study. Family. Paying bills. Flossing. Christmas. Marriage. Sleeping, eating, exercise. Time with the Lord. My hair. Church. Pets. Writing projects – ongoing and one-offs. …Read More
The last time I felt connected to my body was when I was 12. Running through the garden, a glorious, uncomplicated synchronicity of thoughts and limbs. When I was 13, that changed. I became – self-conscious. My body, once an ally, became alien instead. It sprouted and bled and wouldn’t do what it was told. It shouted when I wanted it to be silent and threatened to erupt when I longed to blend in. Anorexia was partly a reaction to this: a slap to the sexuality I didn’t want …Read More
Glen here. This morning I was a visiting speaker up the road. “We’re really looking forward to the Beatitudes!” they enthused. “I love the Beatitudes!” I said. “Who’ll be preaching them?” “We thought you were!” Oh. No-one told me. I’d brought a another sermon to preach. And that’s essentially what I spoke on, but I couldn’t resist giving them something on the Beatitudes (Matthew 5:3-10). Here it is in a nutshell: the Christian life is not about payback! The Beatitudes are 8 blessings …Read More
I’ve written this and it looks ridiculous. But nonetheless, there’s a bit of me that thinks it’s true. I was thinking about it last night. Glen and I were chatting. Well, Glen was chatting and I was listening. (It’s nonsense that all Women talk and want to be Held whilst Men Build Stuff and Hide in their Man-Caves. Sometimes Guys want to Share whilst Women want to Sleep in Their Lady-Sheds). Anyway. Glen’s was ranting about something random… why red skittles …Read More
Yep, you read it here first. Except that – well, you didn’t. In a funny way, it’s the message of the Bible. Pharaoh. Each and every plague designed to get through his thick skull – The LORD is God, His people are the apple of His eye. Yet every ‘wake-up call’ only hardens his heart. Does his stubbornness get in the way of God blessing His people? It does not. God is glorified through the stupidity of Pharaoh. And that’s Him working through an …Read More
Ha. Fat, eh? That old chestnut. Thought we’d heard the last of him. But no, here’s my old anorexic thinking, whispering her lies and trying to sidle back in. Well mate, I’m glad you’ve come. For far too many years I’ve listened to your nonsense. So take a seat and shut up – because this time I’m doing the talking. I’m not surprised you’re looking shifty. Easy to whisper this sort of nonsense and then slip out isn’t it? ‘You’re useless. …Read More
Some days you wake up with things to do. And none of them get done. That’s okay: you’re not your to-do list. Some days, your brain feels like it’s jogging through wet cement. Names (including your own) escape you. But you know what? That’s okay too. You’re not in charge – and you don’t need to be either. Some days every word out of your mouth is a blunder. But we all make mistakes and we all say stupid stuff. They’ll get over it and …Read More
in the light of the fridge and the debris of your binge you are not condemned when you’ve got your fingers down your throat and you’re weeping in despair you are not condemned when you’ve cut yourself again tho you swore you never would you are not condemned before the lies have left your lips, tho you’re spitting in anger and there’s murder in your heart you are not condemned when you’re cold and faithless and feel a million miles …Read More
