Allow Yourself To Be Caught

By April 17, 2013 Blog

I know it feels like there’s too much of you – but there isn’t enough.  Please – stop making yourself smaller. Not just for your sake.  But for mine. You’re stealing yourself from others: people who are like you and who struggle with the same things.  People who need to hear your story. People whose hopes shrink as you do too. I’m not saying Jesus wants you for a sunbeam.  Or that you should look for a hero within.   …Read More

I Can’t Hear You

By April 16, 2013 Blog

Over the last few weeks I’ve been doing some talks and seminars, many on eating disorders.  As well as talking with sufferers, I’ve had the privilege of speaking to their loved ones. Partners, siblings, friends and parents: many of whom are desperate to help, but just don’t know how. And the hardest thing is, there are no easy answers. At the height of my eating disorder, I loved my parents, my husband, my friends and my church.  Yet beside anorexia, …Read More

Dangerous Faith

By April 12, 2013 Blog

How big is our God? Big enough to deal with floods? With cancer? Big enough to deal with abuse – or addiction?  Big enough to deal with child soldiers and genocide? With divorce and bereavement and childlessness and suicide and grief and loneliness and singleness and anarchy and democracy? Big enough to deal with Jimmy Saville?  Big enough to deal with regret and shame and anger and sorrow and bitterness? And how loving is our God?  When He looks at …Read More

Guest Post: Failed, Fruitless, Fed up

By April 11, 2013 Blog

Guest post from Glen.. If Jesus ever caught up with you, what do you think He’d say? Imagine that you haven’t led the purest life in the world. Imagine, for a second, that you have sins in your life. And they’re not just a part of your past, they’re a part of your present.  You haven’t been the perfect father, mother, son, daughter, friend, employer, employee, citizen, Christian. You’ve failed. But you’re not just failed, you’re also fruitless… not  fulfilling …Read More

25 Questions

By April 10, 2013 Blog

Just a quick reminder – This summer I’m doing a number of seminars on mental health, (e.g. eating disorders, self-harm, depression, OCD, anxiety).    As part of my research, I’m interested in hearing from others who currently struggle/have done  in these areas.  It would mean filling out 25 qs – but any info I use would be anonymous. Thanks so much to those of you who’ve already replied. If you’ve still got the form and want to send it back, …Read More

The Real Thing

By April 9, 2013 Blog

Sometimes I wonder if I’m really a Christian.  I don’t always feel like one –  and I’m not sure I look like one either. Do real Christians feel the way I sometimes do? Scared and confused and ashamed and – lost? Do they pray and wonder: is He listening? Does He care? Am I dialling the right number? Saying the right words? Am I doing the right things? Or even in the right place? Sometimes I wonder – have other …Read More

Monday Monday

By April 8, 2013 Blog

My fears are too strong ..But His arms are stronger. My needs are too much ..But His supply is unending. My heart is too cold ..But His love is an unquenchable fire. My faith is too small ..But His grace is greater. My trust is faltering ..But His grip is secure. My heart is ugly ..But His beauty is blinding. My head is weary ..But He lifts me up.   Whatever is coming, He goes before us and He is …Read More

I’ll Tell You Mine If You Tell Me Yours

By April 4, 2013 Blog

I feel  fragile even though I’m stronger than I imagine. I get scared by change and challenge. I am afraid of being ‘a burden’ – being human and having needs. I dread letting others down.  I want people to approve of me. In fact sometimes I make that my deepest goal, and it tears me apart. I want to be perfect and to do all things ‘right’. I’d rather be comfortable than brave. I find it hard to set appropriate …Read More

On Failure

By April 3, 2013 Blog

What does ‘failure’ look like? A missed deadline? The end of a relationship? Financial worries? Something else? I failed. ‘Fact’. Clear-cut and controlled.  Cause and effect. I did X and the outcome was Y. But facts are slippery little beasties:  circumstance and decision; a million motives and intentions, all of ’em mixed. Plus, I get confused between feelings and facts.  I feel rubbish, so I am rubbish. I did rubbish, so I must be rubbish. Right? And when you fail, …Read More

No Answers

By April 2, 2013 Blog

Today I gave a seminar on eating disorders.  I prayed about it and I prepared.  But as I looked into the audience my words felt like dust. I saw a roomful of hurting people I wanted to help. But I don’t think I did. I couldn’t answer all the questions.   How eating disorders feel for men. What to do with a child who won’t eat. How to teach a girl that she is beautiful. I couldn’t guarantee that those …Read More