Being needed feels good: strong and safe and solid. I Do Things. I’m Useful and Necessary. I have a place in the world and when I look in the mirror, I like what I see. I choose to be here. I’m a Producer.
Neediness feels very different: precarious and shameful – like baring your throat to a stranger. No mirrors and no lights – just fear and dependence. I’m a Drain. A consumer. Useless and unnecessary.
It feels wrong to have needs. Wrong to rely on others. Wrong to admit it: you’re weak and you can’t stand alone.
And then I look at Jesus…
The eternal Word of God who became a speechless baby.
The One who walks on water, learning how to crawl.
The Lord who can turn water into wine, growing hungry and weak.
The Ruler of heaven – praying, on His knees.
The Judge of all sitting silently in the dock.
The Author of Life, choking on a cross, and committing His Spirit to God.
Jesus said “‘Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does… By myself I can do nothing; I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me.” (John 5:19, 30)
Where did we get the idea that independence was a virtue?
Not from the One who rests in His Father’s love and relies constantly on the indwelling of His Spirit.
Not from the Trinity: The Father, Son and Spirit upholding each other.
We need food and drink. We need shelter and rest. We need guidance and help. We need other people. Most of all, we need Jesus.
Don’t despise your dependence. It might just be your greatest need.