Time Out

By May 14, 2013 Blog

Ever feel like you’re being shouted at? That you’re not good enough – and never will be? Ever feel like you’re being measured by an invisible standard – and you will never, ever match up? …. Do more: Do less. Get thinner. Get smarter.  Get richer. Get moving. Go slow.Cut your carbs. Cut your emissions. Cut your hair.  Cut your bills. Love your body. Change your body. Change your decor.  Change your life.  Take charge.  Let go. Man up. Feel …Read More

Deadly Independence

By May 13, 2013 Blog

It’s easier to be a helper than the one who asks for help. Being needed feels good: strong and safe and solid.    I Do Things.  I’m Useful and Necessary. I have a place in the world and when I look in the mirror, I like what I see.  I choose to be here. I’m a Producer. Neediness feels very different: precarious and shameful – like baring your throat to a stranger. No mirrors and no lights – just fear …Read More

Body Talk

By May 10, 2013 Blog

As anorexics know all too well –  you can be a skeleton and still feel ‘fat’. ‘Fat’ is not a feeling – but man, it feels like one. However, it’s not just those with eating disorders who struggle with self- perception.   That’s the premise behind a book called ‘Always the Fat Kid‘, published in the States by Dr Warren and Dr Smalley. In it the authors claim that, even after losing weight, those who were overweight as children will continue …Read More

Happy Ascension Day! Er, Why?

By May 9, 2013 Blog

It’s Ascension Day today.  But I’ve never really got it. So I asked Glen to explain… Imagine yourself back in Leviticus 16 – everything about the sacrificial system is screaming at you that you’re a sinner deserving of death. You come to the outskirts of God’s presence – the tabernacle (later rebuilt as the temple). What do you see? A slaughterhouse!  Sinners queuing up with their sacrifices, priests with knives, some very distressed animals and gallons and gallons of blood. …Read More

There Is No ‘Weird’

By May 8, 2013 Blog

Almost every person I’ve been close to has expressed concern that they’re ‘weird’. Descriptions vary, but you get the gist. Abnormal. Odd. Not quite good enough. Set aside the fact they’re my friends. The folks I’m talking about are Fabulous, not strange. When we share our struggles, I don’t think ‘goodness me, this one’s messy’.  I think ‘You too? Phew’. I thank God for putting us in community. And I wonder again at the chasm between truth and self-perception. What is …Read More

Baby Hunger

By May 7, 2013 Blog

Glen and I are hoping to start IVF fairly soon.  I say hoping, because it’s been a long, long process and I’m utterly convinced I will do something to stuff it up.  That probably sounds stupid as, at this stage, there’s not much I can do except take the hormones, try not to go (even more) bonkers, pray and wait. But – I have Eating Disorder Guilt, I don’t think I’m an adult let alone a Woman and frankly, after …Read More

‘Meet The Scriveners’

By May 3, 2013 Blog

Daunted by tomorrow. We’ve got a hospital appointment, followed by a seminar, unofficially billed as ‘Meet the Scriveners’. Thankfully, the official title is ‘Finding identity in Jesus’. So.. I’m thinking we’ll just lie.  Glen can share cosy anecdotes from our perfect marriage, with me nodding adoringly at key points.  ‘Hey honey – tell them about that thing you do: with the potato chips (Fake punch on arm)  – it’s just the cutest…’  Or maybe ‘Here’s how we keep Bible reading and …Read More

Things The World Needs More Of

By May 2, 2013 Blog

I’m torn today between writing an honest post (on IVF and Going Mad) and a frothier one that will not make me cry or load up on comfort carbs. Guess which won? So – things my world needs more of : 1. celebrities telling me how they shifted their baby weight 2. fliers for pizza houses 3. Madonna albums 4. marriage advice from Gwyneth Paltrow 5. extra blades on razors (mind you… see point 4) 6. invitations for LinkedIn 7. …Read More

Getting Help For An Eating Disorder: 4

By May 1, 2013 Blog

See also posts one, two and three. There will be times when you’re still tempted to go back to old behaviours or eating disordered thinking. Don’t panic. Recovery can involve recognising ED thoughts and feelings but not acting on them. Meal planning is a vital part of this and one where others can help. For Carers: How to help with eating: Routine will help sufferers feel safer, especially in the early stages of recovery.  Work out when you will eat, where, …Read More