Feelings 101

By August 29, 2013 Blog

Emotions – in tiny doses – can be great. Splash of melancholy, when it’s raining outside.  A shot of anger,  burning in your throat.  The merest hint of anticipation, cold and delicious. But not too much. Peace like a river? –  thank-you, but half a cup is quite sufficient. Joy like a fountain? – steady on.  A little – excessive, don’t you think? On the emotional front, I’m not the healthiest. All this stuff about women processing better and being …Read More


By August 28, 2013 Blog

It’s been a day of loops. Like a song, stuck. Got in the shower.  Shampooed twice but forgot to rinse. Spooned down muesli.  Thirsty. Boiled the kettle. Tea – or coffee? Too much. Opened the cupboard. Closed the cupboard.  Boiled the kettle again. Made both.  Left both. Opened the computer. Tried to focus. Watched as words trickled down the screen. Went for a walk. Circled the block. Saw people I knew.  Realised I should say something. Searched and gave up. …Read More

Last Night

By August 27, 2013 Blog

At 8.30 this morning, the hospital phoned. Our embryo died last night. We don’t know how to feel. This has helped. Thank you for your love and prayers.     Share…FacebookTwitterTumblrPinterestStumbleUponDiggemail

Not A Dream

By August 26, 2013 Blog

Our embryo has been growing.  Tomorrow, I go into hospital and they put her back. (I say her: it feels wrong to say ‘it’). Last night I had two dreams. In the first one I was at a banquet, surrounded by friends.  I excused myself to go to the loo. But then I started bleeding.  It wouldn’t stop and I couldn’t get the cubicle clean and I couldn’t go back out. In the second dream I was in an old-style …Read More

Hard Day

By August 23, 2013 Blog

yesterday we got to the final stage of round 2 ivf.  They collected a load of healthy eggs and as before, we opted to fertilise two (and put em both back if they ‘took’). Embryologist was confident both would fertilise and we’d then go to the two week wait to see if they’d implant. This morning we got the results. ‘I’m sorry’ they said. ‘One didn’t fertilise and the other is abnormal so we won’t put it back’. ‘Ok’, we …Read More

A Brief Moment in the Sun? [by Glen]

By August 22, 2013 Blog

Where have we come from? Where are we headed? Cosmologist, Laurence Krauss, thinks he knows. Listen to this 5 minute video which summarizes his book “A Universe from Nothing.” Krauss sees a beautiful symmetry to our cosmic history: From nothing, we’re heading nowhere as our universe is flung out to its inevitable heat death. We are, therefore, an infinitesimally small blip in cosmic time, birthed out of nothing, suspended over the void and headed for annihilation. Krauss realises that his scientific theories …Read More

Step Away From The Porridge

By August 21, 2013 Blog

A friend of ours was telling us about his latest holiday.  He and his wife signed up for something called Christian house swap.com where – wait for it – Christians swap houses. You pay a small fee, run the hoover round and go mess up their home instead of yours. ‘It’s a great idea’, he said, ‘long as you’re relaxed about having strangers in the house and flexible about theirs.  After all, what’s not to like?’ Indeed, I nodded, trying …Read More

The Ones You Might Not Know

By August 20, 2013 Blog

There are plenty of eating disorders outside anorexia.  And disordered eating is more of a spectrum than you might think.  Here are some examples – and warning signs to watch out for.. General weight loss warning signs: loved ones have moved from congratulation (saying ‘good on you for getting healthy’ or ‘you look great’), to concern (‘are you sick?’, ‘you’re looking thin’, ‘shouldn’t you take a break’) etc you get teary/angry for no reasons you have a toddler brain which …Read More

Do Everything Different

By August 19, 2013 Blog

‘Do everything different.’ That’s what they tell addicts who are trying to kick old habits. Not just one thing.  Not just a slight variation.  Everything. Do everything different. I don’t like different. I like same.  Everything same.  Nice and neat, with locks and labels.  Ritual and routine,  wrap it round me and keep the bad things out. Everything The things I tend to do.  The situations I tend to avoid. Different My time and my money.   What I eat.  What I wear. …Read More

Stay On The Bank

By August 15, 2013 Blog

I’ve been asked for advice. ‘A friend of mine is anorexic. We’re reading the Bible together and I’m really worried about her,  but I don’t know how to help.  What should I say?’ Some thoughts.. 1. There’s no simple answer. And 2. It’s definitely not you. If you want to help your friend, then recognise what you can’t do. You can’t take responsibility for her: and you can’t rescue her, especially as she’s an adult. I know you want to. But …Read More