No matter what problem you’re facing: divorce, bereavement, addiction, depression… there’s a simple five step programme to fix it.
Whatever you want to be
There’s a guru out there with a plan. A strategy to implement. Something YOU can do to make things better. And all for just £9.99, (with free steak knives for the first 50 subscribers).
I wouldn’t fall for it, of course. The very idea! Ridiculous. So we’ll take a completely random example:
Let’s say for example, you’d like to have a baby. Specialists with years of training and experience may have tried – and failed – to make it happen. Well – they’re wrong. They don’t know what they’re talking about. The answer is simple: and if you read enough books or trawl enough message boards, if you want it enough – you’ll find it.
Some titles: Cure Your Womb; Conquering Infertility; The Infertility Cleanse, Taking Charge of Your Cycles.
You might be 73 and have had a hysterectomy. But the real issue is this: you haven’t been taking charge. Infertility is a Challenge and by sheer force of Wanting, You can Overcome It.
Or think of Depression. Some advocate you ‘survive’ it. Others, that you ‘overcome it’.You need ‘Potatoes Not Prozac’. Or maybe ‘The 20 Rules of Happiness’.
Addicted to roller-coasters? The problem lies with your pulse points. Your attitude. Your diet. The way you pray. Thank goodness Jim-Bob Jimmy-Bob’s got a revolutionary new cure.
I’m exaggerating – because I’m frustrated. Some self-help books are useful. Wise, practical, encouraging.
But others are not. Instead of help, they offer a solution. They target the weak: those in pain – weary, crushed, confused. People looking for hope, but buying into empty promises instead.
You don’t have the answer.
You can’t help yourself.
You need me. And I’m already yours.