Everyday Secrets

crowds2when you’re in the supermarket, joking with the cashier

or chatting in the playground.

when you’re making small-talk at church lunch

or having a pint with some mates

when you’re preaching to your congregation

or arguing with your partner

remember

this is what is underneath:

 

  • ‘I’ve never had a boyfriend because I don’t believe anyone would love me.’
  • ‘My friends think I stopped cutting last year.  I didn’t…I just got better at hiding it’
  • ‘I hate watching porn because I fear I’ll never look like the girls in them’
  • ‘I wish I was a pin up model. But I’m afraid of letting anyone see my body.’
  • ‘Last year my friends thought a was a slut. The only reason I took guys back to my room was so that I could pretend I wasn’t alone….and I could keep up the fake smile. This year I go home alone every night so my friends can’t judge me, I was happier when they thought I was a slut, than I am now when they judge me when I cant keep the fake smile up’
  • ‘I cheated on you…the boy I want to marry, with someone I don’t see a future with….Because I’ve never been with a guy who didn’t hit me, stalk me, compromise me or continuously put me down…the constant happiness made me anxious. Now I realize my issues hurt you just like they hurt me’.
  • ‘I only cry when I’m drunk….I’m terrified this is the only time I feel emotions. But I’m more scared of not feeling anything, which is why I still drink’.
  • ‘I started to use drugs to be closer to some of my friends. Now I use  drugs because no one is close anymore’.
  • ‘I’m afraid to have children… I’m afraid they’ll be like me… and they’ll hurt me like I hurt my parents’.
  • ‘I let everyone walk all over me because I’m afraid of someday being the lonely woman with 50 cats’
  • ‘I don’t know how to tell my parents I’m anorexic.  They think I’m perfect’
  • ‘I don’t know why anyone wants to be pretty. I hate being beautiful. I hate that you’re only nice to because of how I look’
  • ‘I was in love with my best friend. We’re both girls. I never told her. We have lost touch. But I think she knew’.
  • ‘I thought if I gave in to what he wanted..sexual favours, then he would learn to love me. but he stopped talking to me.’
  • ‘Secretly… I’m afraid to be myself I worry people will hate me because I’m too negative. I’m also afraid I’ll poison their outlook on life. I feel like I’m wearing a mask. I’ve been wearing it for years. I’m scared to take it off. I wish you could help me’.
  • ‘I remember once thinking that I wouldn’t care if you died. Now you’re gone and .. I’d do anything to bring you back’.
  • ‘When I was little my father molested me I have never told anyone. Because of him I have a secret in my happy marriage. And I hate it’.
  • ‘Maybe if I was skinny, I would have friends’.
  • ‘I still want to marry you Even though you left me because you thought I was ungodly for having sex with you’
  • ‘In 2007 I tried to commit suicide. Every day I am more and more thankful I didn’t succeed. It took almost dying to get me to start living. I thank GOD daily for saving me and showing me what’s worth living for’.
  • ‘I pretend to be the “good girl”, when really I’m not. My family has no idea who I really am. If they did…. they would hate me’.
  • ‘I love you so much that’s why I’m afraid my depression will scare you off’.
  • ‘I didn’t fall. I threw myself off’

 

Taken from postsecret.com – where people write in anonymously and share something they haven’t told anyone else.

 

 

5 thoughts on “Everyday Secrets

  1. very good but very sad i can also relate i
    i used to be scared to go out with people for fear
    of being judged & thought that people could see right through me

  2. Claire, BR and Sean – thanks for commenting. Even if we don’t share the same struggles, we can all relate to the feelings behind them. And sometimes feeling isolated or alone is what makes them hardest. Even opening up anonymously is better than carrying the weight by yourself: how much more a community where you can be real and still be loved.

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