No sudden flashes of genius or moments of clarity. No deeper understanding of the human psyche or renewed faith in the little things. People are lifelines. They help keep you alive. But it doesn’t mean you feel it. And when you’ve Not Felt It for a while, you get awfully tired.
At times like this, I’m all for pharmaceuticals. Meds are rarely the answer – but in my case at least, they got me to a point where I started looking. Yes they’re over-prescribed and yes they can mask the issues and yes, they have side-effects and yes they can be addictive. All great reasons to think carefully before taking them. But: when it hurts to breathe and you can’t speak or wash, you thank God for grace in all its various (legal!) forms.
That said, Not Happy is not the same as Being Depressed. Sometimes I’m just sad or slightly glum. Sometimes I’m hacked off. Sometimes I’m hormonal. But sometimes there’s a Really Good Reason. Sometimes feeling sad is necessary and completely appropriate.
You’ve lost a job or someone you love. You’re lonely or far from home. You’re in the garden of Gethsemane and your best friends have sold you down the river.
Pills can help. I thank God for meds. But they’re no substitute for a Person. Someone to cry out to. Someone who gets it and who also gets you. Even friends and family sometimes let us down; just as we do to them. They leave – whether through circumstance or choice. But Jesus stays. When we feel it and when we don’t.