From the Guardian (Weekend): What I’m Really Thinking: The Mother of An Anorexic: “At least it’s not cancer – you know, something serious,” my mother says helpfully on the phone. I feel cruel as I tell her anorexia has the same mortality rate as many childhood cancers and a longer treatment time. Eight months in hospital at the last count, and another admission looming. I’ve always been keen to feed my children well. I breastfed, cooked my own purees, insisted on vegetables …Read More
Yesterday I was thinking about how to move past the past. I mentioned a post by a friend who struggles with porn addiction – and his remorse, especially towards his wife. It’s one thing being sorry for your own mistakes. But how does knowing the gospel help those who’ve been hurt to step forward too? His wife writes this: I can also be very disorganized, selfish, tardy and tend to put myself first. I also consider myself an “addict” as well as …Read More
A few weeks ago, we had a powerful guest post from a man who struggles with porn addiction. He talked with great remorse of how it had impacted his marriage; and of the battles he and his wife continue to face. One question keeps coming back to me and it’s this: how do we move forward when we can’t undo the past? This is something I have had to think through – and still ask. For years I routinely lied …Read More
Dear God Hi. Emma (Scrivener) here. Sorry I haven’t been talking much recently. Don’t worry – I’ve been reading my Bible and stuff…but I just can’t seem to pray. The words have dried up. It’s not that I don’t think prayer is important. I do! And I can do it for others, but not for me. When it’s talking about me, I feel a bit awkward. The little things are too little – but the big things are too scary …Read More
One in five children between the ages of 11 and 16 are bullied online. That’s according to a recent NSPCA survey. Bullying is always devastating. But, in some ways, I’m glad that I suffered the old school version. Don’t get me wrong. It was horrible. And it screwed me up. But at least back then, it had a real time and place. In my day, there was no such thing as trolls: you had the courtesy of being insulted face-to-face. You …Read More
When someone you care about is struggling with an eating disorder, it can feel hopeless. You don’t know what to say or do. You try to help – but often feel useless and tempted to give up. Please don’t. Here’s why: Colette’s story: ‘When I was young mum took me to church each Sunday, yet the impression that I was given was all about rules, good attendance and cold buildings. Once Sunday school finished for me we stopped going …Read More
I’ve always felt that Thursdays should be exiled from the calendar. But yesterday made it official. Woke up late. Forgot to put the boiler on so had a very brief and tremendously refreshing shower. Hit my head jumping out. Came downstairs to find that the cat had broken through the door again. This time however, he took the flap with him – like a plastic necklace, except cat-sized. Reapprended him, wedged between two posts in the garden. Ran for train. …Read More
Following yesterday’s post, I’ve been thinking about ways that churches can help those who are struggling. Here’s a few – and I’d love to hear yours: Expect that folks in your congregation struggle. They’re human and that means there’ll be eating disorders, self-harm , abuse, addictions and all the other bits and pieces of normal fallen humanity. (This is what we believe, right?) So.. Model weakness yourself: Obviously be wise about what you share, but beware of a leadership model …Read More
If you’re struggling – and want those around you to understand – how do you help them? A woman I’m in contact with wrote this remarkable letter to her church – published in their parish magazine: A Confession… I have a confession to make. I have been diagnosed with a mental health illness. The question is will you now walk on the other side of the road? It is not easy for me to admit I have a problem, namely because …Read More
It seems to me that hope is more threatening than fear. It’s easy to cling to the selves we can hate and control and punish. It’s easy to write yourself off: I’m ‘stupid’ or ‘fat’ or ‘useless’ or ‘clumsy’. To listen to the voices that you challenge in your friends. I’m too old. It’s too late. I’m afraid. But what’s really frightening isn’t the possibility that we are bad. It’s that we could be really good. Not a burden – …Read More
