Late for church today (again). Couple of reasons: 1. sickness as the ivf drugs start leaving my system. 2. general rubbishness (I’m late every week). 3. baby/family squishiness. 4. fear of going Inappropriately Crazy. (I’M SAD SO I NEED YOU ALL TO STOP SINGING). I didn’t, (tho I didn’t sing either). And one of these days I’m gonna! Maybe… Thing is, however bad it gets, there’s rarely a time when church isn’t right. And by ‘right’ I don’t mean “horrible …Read More
Hospital appointment this morning and 17 days in, we’re cancelling this round of IVF. For some reason the meds aren’t working – and as it’s never happened before, the consultant doesn’t know why, or where to go from here. Can’t find the right emoticon for the moment. But one thing that’s there is this: gratitude. Thank you – for all your prayers and support. It’s not the news we wanted, but those prayers have been answered in a huge way. Here’s …Read More
I watch a lot of movies. The two most recent are ‘Funny Face’ and ‘World War Z’; Hepburn musical versus Zombie Apocalypse. Actually the zombie one was the most life-affirming. Watching craggy Fred Astaire chasing young Audrey was…well, scary. It’s easy to be critical. Maybe that’s why I like reading bad reviews. Here’s Roger Ebert on ‘Armaggedon’: “No matter what they’re charging to get in, it’s worth more to get out”. Or on ‘B.A.P.S’: “My guess is that African-Americans will be …Read More
Woke up this morning and decided that the best way to handle the day was to sleep through it. Unfortunately this is not a great life strategy. So I got up. Wandered downstairs and poured myself a bowlful of muesli and Revelation: That is why they stand in front of God’s throne and serve him day and night in his Temple. And he who sits on the throne will give them shelter. They will never again be hungry or thirsty; …Read More
Today has been a really horrible day. We’re coming to the end of IVF round three but the drugs seem to have stopped working. We don’t know why. If there’s no change in the next few days, the cycle will be cancelled. ‘I’m sorry’, says Glen. ‘It still might work. There are other options and this does not define us’. I look at him and I’m crying and I say It might not define you but it defines me. And …Read More
It’s funny how we ascribe certain struggles to certain groups of people. And we expect those struggles to look a certain way. Young women, for example, will struggle with eating disorders and materialism. (This means they’ll get too thin or buy too many shoes). Teenage boys will struggle with self-control (Pornography or booze).I guess if we can allocate specific problems to specific people, then they’re not so dangerous. They’re somehow less likely to happen to us. Of course it’s not true. …Read More
Glen and I are arguing thinking about whether or not you should go to bed on an argument. He’s giving me some Ephesians chat about sunshine and anger but I dunno. You’re arguing and you’re tired. No point making a hasty truce when you’re not thinking straight – right? Much better to get some kip so you can go at it properly in the morning. Ok, maybe go with the Bible on this one. But seems to me like there’s twaddle …Read More
When my dad was teaching me to drive I adopted two, wildly contrasting, approaches – both of them deadly. The first was a matter of ‘Outta my way slow pokes, Emma’s on the move!’ In this mindset, everything, kerbs/hedges/bollards seemed MILES away. I reversed, confidently – only to find that those fixed points had Moved. And no matter how hard I revved, they couldn’t always be driven through. It took a while before dad and I ventured out again. But …Read More
There are some sadnesses that colour everyday life, even though we don’t talk about them. Miscarriages are one example. My experience is limited but here’s some thoughts on how to support those who are grieving: don’t pretend it hasn’t happened or avoid talking about it. Act like you would with any bereavement and acknowledge the loss. Give the couple opportunities to talk about the baby if they want to – but follow their lead. So if they talk about their shock, …Read More
I read recently that change is just a case of managing or avoiding triggers. This might work if you have an addiction to Dairy Milk, (avoid supermarkets, TV and birthdays). It’s more of a problem if those triggers are outside your control. Things that are or have been done to you. Seasons. Sickness. LIFE. Here’s some things that either I or people I know find triggering; Winter Bereavement Expectations from others Sickness Life changes Exams Childhood issues Relationship breakdowns Conflict …Read More
