Foot in Mouth

smileThere’s no such thing as ‘the right thing to say’. And we all get it wrong. But sometimes, silence is a really good option:

“You don’t look like you’ve got an eating disorder”.

“That’s a colourful top”

“We all think you should lower your standards”

“What have you done to your hair? It was better before”

“Are you sure you’re not pregnant?”

” I know exactly how you feel”

“You brought it on yourself”

“Don’t be weird”

“One thing you could try is not sleeping with everyone”

“You should stop trying so hard”

“When I feel like that I just put on a happy face”

“You’ll think differently when you’re …”

“If you came off those pills you’d feel a lot more normal”

“Being alone like that would drive me crazy.  I don’t know how you manage”

“God’s told me we’re going to get married”

“What happened to you?”

“Your face looks fat.  Do you really need that biscuit?”

“Don’t take this the wrong way..”

“I  just don’t understand what you DO with all your time “

“Please hold.  Your call is important to us”

“It says here in the Daily Mail..”

“Is it meant to look like that?”

 

Better:

“I’m going to repeat back to you what you just said to me, so you can hear how crazy it sounds”

“I know you don’t want to.  But we both know you need to.”

“I love you”

“If I talked about you the way you talked about yourself, would we still be friends?”

“Here’s what I’m praying for you”

“I’m sorry it’s so hard.  Want to come over?”

“Have a biscuit” (sometimes)

” …. …… ….. ….. …. ” (especially when tempted to give advice).  Just being there is good.

“I really admire you for…”

“Where is God in all this?”

“I can’t imagine what that feels like”

 

 

 

5 thoughts on “Foot in Mouth

  1. “If I talked about you the way you talked about yourself, would we still be friends?” – Emma, for osme reason, that one’s really spoken to me today. Thanks for making me think.

  2. An excellent post thank you. I am so terrible for saying the wrong thing and I find things like this really help me! For me though, the biggest challenge is to forgive the people who have said the absolute dumbest thing possible at the wrong time. So things like this can sometimes bring the pain out a bit more. Any advice?

  3. I guess what helps me most (and what’s hardest) is to pray for the person who said something and ask God to help me see them from His eyes. That sounds a bit spiritual; but here’s the thing – you can’t hang on to your anger/sadness in the same way if you’re praying for them. Plus, I think about the stuff I’ve said and how gracious people have been to me. And often the intention behind the comment isn’t to harm, but just that I/they haven’t really thought it through – that helps too.

    If all else fails I make a doll and stick pins in it (I don’t…but it’s tempting :-)

  4. Thanks Emma, what you say about prayer is very true and very helpful. The doll and pins sounds interesting too (perhaps when all else fails?) :)

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