There are days when it feels like you’re a hoover: sucking things out, when others put back. You take up too much space, where others are welcome. Your work has no purpose; or the absence of a job title makes you less than everyone else. There are days when it feels like everything you say marks you out. You speak when you should be silent. You have scars where others are smooth. You tremble at the things others take for granted. There are days …Read More
Watch a perfume ad. Or read a magazine. How do you know when you’re in love? You can’t bear to be without them. They complete you. They get you – when no-one else does. Your passions are their passions. When you’re together, nothing else matters. You can’t eat or sleep or think of anyone else. They’re like no-one else you’ve ever met. You can’t believe how much they know about you and how much they think of you. Now. …Read More
Letter from a friend: Hi Emma. Sorry I haven’t replied for a while. In answer to your question; My eating disorder makes me feel strong. I know this isn’t true but I feel like it is. I know you’re right. I know this takes everything away from me. I know I have to eat and not lose more weight, but it’s much more easy to listen to the lies. I want to trust God but I’m frightened. And when …Read More
One of the blessings of friendship is that we can carry one another; and this is a gift, rather than a burden. But there’s a difference between being a friend and being a carer. At times we will need to receive more than we give. That’s a part of life and we’ve all been there. But what if neediness is a position we never leave? Or if we find our identity in helping, but refuse to receive help? In these cases we may need to think …Read More
When bad things happen to those you care for, it’s hard to know what to say. You desperately want to show them you love them and you desperately want to fix it. But you can’t – and you don’t know how. In your head, you run through the options: ‘I know how you feel’. Except, wait. You don’t. You haven’t lost your mother. You’ve not received a terrifying diagnosis. You don’t know what it’s like to fight to addiction. You …Read More
I remember chatting to an old neighbour about her bible reading. Every day; rain, hail or shine, she’d read a portion of scripture. Inspired, I asked what kept her going – and what she’d been learning. She sighed deeply. ‘Well’ she said, ‘It’s just what we do, isn’t it? Christians read the Bible. We stick to the reading plans. We stay the course – even when it’s dull’. Having recently staggered through 2 Chronicles, this was not enough. Why not …Read More
Last night we felt our baby kick. Except that, of course, it’s not a baby. It’s a fetus. A potential life – which is apparently very different. For one thing, he (or she) must earn the right to exist. If that child is flawed or substandard; if the foot that nudged my husband’s hand is say, deformed or misshapen, well obviously we have the right to withdraw all protection and care. In fact, it’s our moral duty to do so. Yesterday, a woman tweeted Richard Dawkins with these words, …Read More
Compulsive overeating is where someone feels compelled to eat when they are not hungry and cannot stop when they have had enough. It affects more people than both anorexia and bulimia and usually begins in late adolescence or early adulthood. According to the sources below… Most, but not all, begin to eat compulsively after a period of dieting Most put others first and attend to the needs of other people and not themselves Most, but not all, have some difficulty knowing or expressing their …Read More
Yesterday I talked a little about the importance of sexuality and the difference between the gospel’s understanding of life and the world’s. I’ve had a few questions and emails asking if this has been prompted by the debate surrounding Vicky Beeching: a Christian who has recently come out as gay and has been speaking about her experiences. I’ve followed the media coverage with interest and I think it’s great that she and others are talking about these issues. But I haven’t …Read More
A single friend, who’s attracted to girls, came to me recently. She’s a Christian and believes that Christ loves and accepts her as she is. She also believes that the Bible prohibits a sexual relationship with someone of the same gender. I prayed with her and we talked together about what the Bible says and about the struggles she is facing. Another single friend, who’s attracted to boys, also asked my advice. She’s a Christian and believes that Christ loves and …Read More
