If you follow the blog, you’ll maybe know that Glen and I have been trying for a baby for many years. We’ve been through several modified cycles of IVF (see posts here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here). It’s been a hard time, but we’ve known the Lord and you (our friends and loved ones) carrying us through, with support and prayers. Thank you.
Earlier this year, we went for the last go. And we are thrilled to say, I’m pregnant.
It’s an incredible gift: and still feels very fragile. We’re not taking anything for granted – and there have been wobbles along the way (and will be to come). But most of all, we want to thank God for His kindness; and to thank you too, for all your love and support. We have been humbled and blessed by your comments, stories and concern.
If you’re struggling with childlessness, then we know some of your feelings as you read this. Having heard baby announcements from scores and scores of friends we have known that strange mixture of joy and grief all too well. This kind of news gives a concentrated dose of Romans 12:15 – we rejoice and we weep all at once.
If this news triggers painful feelings for you, I don’t have any glib reassurances. My story is simply my story: I should be dead from an eating disorder – twice over – instead, today, I’m pregnant. If I wasn’t, God would still be good – His redemption would look different, that’s all. My story will not be not yours, but it is a testimony to the kind of God we both follow. I can’t promise you a particular ending but I can assure you about our God: He joins us in the pit and He also lifts us out. That lifting will look different for each of us, and “a baby” is not the “happily ever after” to set our hope on. But it’s a token of what He does with all our stories, no matter the details:
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
– Psalm 40:2-3