I can’t stop thinking about the plane that went down. About the pilot. Depressed? Stressed? Crazy? Evil? Someone to be pitied? A victim – or a psychopath? A suicide – or a massacre? About his parents. Mourning with the other families. Travelling with them to the site. Shared sympathy. A fault in the aircraft? A freak accident? “He did his best to save them. We’re all in the same situation.” But then, the discovery. Two people are separated from the group …Read More
being an eldest child the books of Roald Dahl getting bullied going on a diet my daughter the lies of perfectionism pornography (and the boyfriend who read it) thinking that Christianity was about morals – then experiencing grace giving up on ‘having it all’ antidepressants discovering I was in love with my best friend my grandmother’s death not being able to get pregnant going to a girl’s school fear of rejection growing up in Northern Ireland – and then leaving it my first Sunday school …Read More
We’re not the sort of family that does sentiment. Love – yes, in spades – but sentiment: soft toys, Hallmark cards and swirly pink lettering – no. Definitely not. Half-hugs and easy laughter, ping-pong banter and shared stories. That’s our language: “You’re not so bad.” (“I love you. I’m proud of you.”) You’re not so bad yourself.” (“I love you too.”) Sometimes though, it’s good to say more. To put words to the layers, or at least, to try. Mum. You brought me, …Read More
Today I planned to write a blog. I planned to do some washing. I planned to read the Bible and have a good pray. I planned to phone a friend I haven’t spoken to in a long time. I planned to send an (overdue) birthday card I planned to pay the bills and phone the dentist and reply to email and wash my hair and de-flea the cats and buy milk and take the recycling. … Mondays can be overwhelming – and …Read More
It’s funny how success is seen as the route to happiness. In my experience, it’s the opposite. Striving for something you can’t achieve – being (the most) beautiful (the most) entertaining (the most) intelligent the fittest the richest the thinnest the most popular – but always The Most – doesn’t make you happy; it makes you miserable – and grumpy, to boot. That’s the problem with success – it’s usually a competition. “Good” doesn’t cut it – you need to be Best. Which for 99.9999 per cent …Read More
