Scared to strip off at small group? Sick of comparing yourself to the worship leader?
Take Control and Fight the spiritual flab. It’s time to Take Back Your Temple – starting NOW.
Try our NEW 40-day plan: You’ve nothing to lose, but your sins!
Breakfast: Champions don’t just read their Bibles. They Do #Devotions, (now with 30% more Minor Prophets). Channel your spiritual qi by shouting “Jesus” “Preach it” each time you read His name.
NB: If you miss a morning, don’t beat yourself up. Just have a triple portion next day.
Lunch: Don’t just pray. Pray SQUIRMM, (Sensory, Quizzical, Instinctual, Repetitational, Murmuring, Mellifluous). In clinical trials, SQUIRMM is proven to be twice as effective as our nearest competitor.
Dinner: Reread the spiritual classics – desert fathers, mystical mothers, and dark nights of the soul. Mix it up with our current bestsellers: Style Yourself Spiritual and Zumba Like Jesus.
Snacks: Choose from selection: Fasting/Tithing/Chanting/Meditation/Devotional Decoupage.
You could just go to Jesus.