You can’t fix the past – and you don’t need to. Redemption means that everything, even your worst, your most shameful moments, are covered. They are being woven into something beautiful.
You can’t live in the future – and you wouldn’t want to. Even the future you desperately want – the one you dare not name because it’s too painful to open your heart to hope; even that would be no good for you right now. The future needs to remain the future, and you need to remain in the present.
That means you have nothing to deal with at all – nothing except now. This minute. And even in this, you are carried. As you read, take a breath. Then again. As your lungs fill with air know, God made me. Every cell, every freckle, every hair. Each part is precious to Him, each part, designed in just the way He wanted it. Each heartbeat beats “Mine. You are mine. I love you. I gave the whole world in your stead and in Me, you are perfect.”
The Lord says:
I love you. Your bumps and your scars; your folds and your wrinkles. Don’t despise them. Don’t despise yourself. As a mother looks at her child, I see you in your nakedness and my heart soars. When you were thrust, bleeding and howling from the womb, I carried you – and I will keep carrying you, until your last breath.
I made your body – and I made your mind and I made your heart. Don’t despise them. I know your sprawling thoughts and the hopes that are too frightening to speak. Your hungers and your fears; your passions and your pain – I see all these and I am not afraid. I will help you. I will lift you up. Forget yesterday, ignore tomorrow. Today….
In your day of trouble I will keep you safe in my dwelling; I will hide you in the shelter of my sacred tent and set you high upon a rock. (Psalm 27:5)
So then,
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord. (Psalm 27:14)
Image source
Just out of hospital… Feeling very fragile… Overwhelmed by guilt over everything from my suicidal feelings to the fact that I couldn’t face church yesterday. It’s hard to believe that God can love me and forgive me in this state, so these are verses I need to read – again and again and again.
Thanks Emma. Needed that.
Lots of love to you Lizzi!
Lucy – you are precious and you are loved:
Revelation 12:10 Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say, “Now the salvation, the power, the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Messiah have come. For the one who accuses our brothers, who accuses them day and night in the presence of our God, has been thrown out.
The heart of the Christian faith; and the shocking, wonderful beauty of the Cross is that we are already forgiven. Nothing can separate us from His love. I’m praying for you my sister.
After a difficult day being plagued by obsessive thoughts and behaviours and sever severe nameless anxiety that was exactly what i needed to read. Thank you and Fod bless Emma and all those for whom today has been tough
Hi Emma,
Just what we needed to hear – after 4 weeks where the illusion that *we* are in control has become increasingly shown as the fiction it is & as we face major surgery later today for the youngest member of our family born just 4 weeks ago….living now, carried by Jesus is the only way we can survive
:-)! – something tells me I’ll need this, over and over again – eg this week might not have been a “hard to go to church” week, but there have been several before and I’m sure, more to come. Hahaat this point I’m resigned to possibly handling this social anxiety for life, just whether in a big measure sometimes and in smaller measures on other times. oops.
Today’s not been the most exciting day, we’re finishing up on a book launch at work (errr, it’s someone’s *birthday* commemorative, to be done in time for errr, *the birthday* – ie unchangeable) & so it’s just been a lot of boring citations and references & checking for sources … yikes. I don’t like this stuff haha, I like the reading and the editing, & even transcription is (slightly) more appealing than this. but er, one at a time … & maybe also three cups of mint tea, lol. one citation at a time, with one sip of tea at a time :-)
Thanks Louise.
Oh Jenny, I’m so sorry you’re facing this. We will be praying xxxxx
:-) Well done for drinking mint tea and not espresso!