Childlessness and Church: Guest Post

By November 28, 2019 Blog

Last week a reader emailed, to ask if I would write a post on involuntary childlessness.  She said, ‘We as a Christian couple haven’t been able to have children, but not by choice… It’s not what we wanted but it’s where we are… I just want folks to think a bit!’ Glen and I have had some experience of this, but I wondered if anything I wrote would sound glib, given that we’ve now had Ruby and adopted a wee …Read More

Postal Strike

By April 10, 2012 Blog

Funny old day, today.  Were it dancing for my entertainment, I’d remark kindly on its sequins, and then slam it with a 3. For starters, it’s a Monday, masquerading as a Tuesday.  No-one likes that.  Or the wrench as you shift your gears from holiday back to working (or not working) week. Then there was a trip to the hospital. Hospitals are strange places at the best of times.  Just think of the hundreds of life-changing conversations and procedures that …Read More

Bigger Than Despair

By March 31, 2012 Blog

Writing in the Guardian today, Bibi Lynch talks honestly (and painfully) about her struggle with childlessness. If this is a live issue for you, it might be too hard to read, but it does give an insight into the despair and frustration that can accompany it.  She says: ‘Being a mum has its difficulties – but they are finite and surmountable.  If you haven’t had a child, that devastating problem can never be solved…You feel you have lost your identity? …Read More

Mother’s Day. Ouch.

By March 18, 2012 Blog, identity

It’s just one day.  For goodness’ sake: there are another 364 potential not mother’s celebrations, right? Okay, that’s not helping. So, how to get through this one? Is it possible to wring a genuine sense of peace from a heart that’s currently sucking on a lemon?.. Seems to me I’ve got a few options: 1. Despair (Very appealing): I’m not pregnant.  That’s terrible.  I’m terrible.  I can’t cope.  I’ve screwed up my life and my biology and everything I touch …Read More

Baby Blues

By January 27, 2012 Uncategorized

I’ve just found out that Another friend is pregnant.  (Is there anyone left?!) I’m genuinely pleased for her – it hasn’t been an easy process and she and her hubby will be brilliant parents.  Plus, having gone through that horrible yearning, it’s wonderful to see an end in sight for people I care about. But it’s painful too because I want that to be me – I want to be yelping with delight over the right blue line too! I’m …Read More

Comforting the Childless

By January 10, 2012 Blog, identity

On Sunday Glen and I wrote a post on childlessness. Thank- you to everyone who’s been so supportive and for those who have shared some of their own experiences too: it means a lot. I’ve been asked to write a bit more on how churches can help those who are struggling with this issue. This is tricky, for a number of reasons. Every person’s struggle is unique: there can be hundreds of reasons why a couple cannot conceive – many …Read More

Childnessness + the Gospel (joint post)

By January 8, 2012 Blog, identity

Glen preached on 1 Samuel 1 this morning, which includes the story of Hannah’s longing to conceive.  This is something of a live issue for us, as we’d love to have kids – but it may not be possible. I’ve been recovered from anorexia for a good few years now, but this may be an area where the damage can’t be reversed. If you’re struggling with some of these issues, this is a great incentive to seek help early on. …Read More

Not Pregnant

By November 10, 2011 Blog, identity

But I really want to be. I really, really, really want to be. But I’m not. So there it is. Some days I don’t mind so much.  I think about it a little, but it’s like the background music in the coffee shop.  Unless you stop talking or working, you barely notice. Other days it’s like a pain, or a punch in the stomach.  A  kind-of winded breathlessness.  An internal ache, a sadness that won’t lift. One red line instead …Read More