Loving Someone Who Has Miscarried

By January 7, 2014 Blog

There are some sadnesses that colour everyday life, even though we don’t talk about them. Miscarriages are one example. My experience is limited but here’s some thoughts on how to support those who are grieving: don’t pretend it hasn’t happened or avoid talking about it. Act like you would with any bereavement and acknowledge the loss.  Give the couple opportunities to talk about the baby if they want to – but follow their lead.  So if they talk about their shock, …Read More

Happy Birth Day

By December 9, 2013 Blog

Something about Christmas makes the holes in your life feel – well, hole-ier. The business of busyness. The clamour of tills and expectations. The feeling that you’re just one mince pie/box set/stocking filler from enjoying the Most Wonderful Time of the Year. The family nativities and the new babies. Will sprouts and turkey fill the hole of childlessness? No they will not. …   This Sunday at church we were looking at Luke chapter 1.  I read the heading: A …Read More


By November 7, 2013 Blog

The world makes no sense. Today I’ve been praying for  a couple whose twin babies were stillborn.  They are consumed by grief. a woman who’s been bleeding – and may or may not be miscarrying (but didn’t know she was pregnant) a woman who didn’t think she could get pregnant, but is.  The father – a drug addict, is not around.  She’s terrified and considering an abortion. Unbearable pain – in every situation.    Words fail me.  The ones I’ve …Read More

Missing Peace

By November 1, 2013 Blog

When I was small, I used to spend Sunday afternoons helping Granny with her jigsaw. We’d spend hours poring over the pieces; Columbo in the background, puncturing our companionable silence with an occasional murder. I still love a good jigsaw.  1000 pieces. Not too much sky or grass or sea. Nothing too complicated with baked beans or 3d. Cats but not horses.  Boats but not oceans. On days when I’m stressed or a bit sad, each piece restores my sanity. The …Read More

Are You Listening, God?

By October 28, 2013 Blog

Sunday morn I was teaching  the kids about Jacob and Esau. I’d done my prep, (praying and amazing Jacob cut-outs with stick-on hairy chests).  So I started to tell the story: ‘Last week’ says I, ‘something very exciting happened to Jacob.  He was lonely and he prayed.  God listened to him and answered his prayers by giving him a wife called Rebekah’. (gulp of industrial strength coffee) ‘Jacob and Rebekah loved each other very much.  And they wanted to share …Read More

Coping with Infertility

By September 22, 2013 Blog

Some thoughts on getting through: 1. plan together what you’ll say when asked ‘why don’t you have kids?’ 2. work out together who you’re going to tell and how much. It can be great to be prayed for, but that might mean just a few close friends. 3. love each other and work as a team.  In all the hoo-ha of baby planning/making, it’s easy to lose sight of the fact you actually like your partner. Recognise that you might …Read More

Coming Soon

By September 19, 2013 Blog

Back to the baby doc today. We’re reviewing  Cycle 2: What Went Wrong, (tagline: ‘The Final Chapter?’) Guest-stars: Mad scientist consultant.  His desperate, inexorable search for progress has blunted his social skills and made him crazy with power. Hickster Fundamentalist Christians. Comedy couple – reared by dingos in the outback/potato farmers in Peat bog land. Him: Nice Vicar who Finishes Last.  Her:  Feisty Irish Rose Nettle with  Big Gob. Nurse with Heart of Gold (winces/emits spontaneous clucking noises when Mad Scientist …Read More

This Life

By September 17, 2013 Blog

Is Anyone out there NOT Pregnant? ANYONE?? I jest.  (hahahaha).  But seriously. STOP.  HAVING.  BABIES. At least until I get one. Or shave the cat and stick her in a pram. It’s an epidemic.  My parents have just been to visit and when mum said she’d something to tell me (new brand of loo cleaner), my stomach lurched. Thankfully, no.  The world has more than enough Sloans already, (and if they’d asked my advice (as firstborn), I’d have stopped at …Read More


By August 28, 2013 Blog

It’s been a day of loops. Like a song, stuck. Got in the shower.  Shampooed twice but forgot to rinse. Spooned down muesli.  Thirsty. Boiled the kettle. Tea – or coffee? Too much. Opened the cupboard. Closed the cupboard.  Boiled the kettle again. Made both.  Left both. Opened the computer. Tried to focus. Watched as words trickled down the screen. Went for a walk. Circled the block. Saw people I knew.  Realised I should say something. Searched and gave up. …Read More

Last Night

By August 27, 2013 Blog

At 8.30 this morning, the hospital phoned. Our embryo died last night. We don’t know how to feel. This has helped. Thank you for your love and prayers.     Share…FacebookTwitterTumblrPinterestStumbleUponDiggemail