Love The One You’re With

By April 29, 2014 Blog

This isn’t the post I began writing. The post I began writing was based on a chat I had with a friend, who’s moving home and looking for a new church. We were talking about what she should look for. And that was my original post – a wish list for church. It was quite a long list.  It had things like ‘real relationships’, ‘commitment to pastoral care’, ‘the priority of loving Jesus over skills or gifting’. I based a …Read More

The Wednesday Dilemma

By April 23, 2014 Blog

Tonight is our home group.  Also known as ‘house group’, ‘fellowship group’, ‘bible study’, ‘cell group’ and ‘bible group’. The name’s not important.  What’s important is that, right now, I don’t feel like going. And, about this time every Wednesday, I start thinking the same things: I’m busy.  It would be much better to catch up on x,y and z than have to schlep out in the car. I know this passage.  We’ve done it before.  Many times.  I don’t …Read More

The Value of a VW

By April 13, 2014 Blog

I never wanted to be a vicar’s wife. In fact, my fear of becoming one nearly killed me. Not because I’ve got anything against them – the opposite.  I admire them too much. Many of the vicar’s wives I’ve known have been LADIES of LEGEND, feminine, capable, godly, and (apparently) normal.  (You can never tell of course, but as soon as one breaks cover I’ll let you know)… The prospect of shouldering those expectations sent me spiraling into an eating …Read More

Letter To A Stranger

By March 31, 2014 Blog

An email I received recently, (quoted with permission): Dear Emma, It’s 5am and I am writing to a complete stranger. .. I apologise for taking this liberty but I have been reading your blog and I think you will understand. I will not be ruled by lies any more, but they shout loudly tonight. Alone, unprotected, unloved. Single women, particularly single women with a history of mental health problems aren’t taken seriously in evangelical churches. Or perhaps I am immature …Read More

Share Yourself

By February 14, 2014 Blog

You’ve got the words to change a nation But you’re biting your tongue You’ve spent a life time stuck in silence Afraid that you’ll say something wrong If no one ever hears it how we gonna learn your song? So come on, come on Come on, come on You’ve got a heart as loud as lighting So why let your voice be tamed? Maybe we’re a little different There’s no need to be ashamed You’ve got the light to fight …Read More


By February 5, 2014 Blog

I’ve just sent an email that, if written about me (and it could have been), would have left me spitting blood. There’s a bit of me that’s howling at the keyboard and clawing at my own throat. But the other bit (which is bigger and louder), hit ‘send’. A church leader has asked me about a member of his congregation. She is extremely thin and getting thinner. She also serves in a number of public ways in the church. Lots …Read More

You Talkin’ To Me?

By January 19, 2014 Blog

Late for church today (again).  Couple of reasons: 1. sickness as the ivf drugs start leaving my system. 2. general rubbishness (I’m late every week). 3. baby/family squishiness.  4. fear of going Inappropriately Crazy.  (I’M SAD SO I NEED YOU ALL TO STOP SINGING).  I didn’t, (tho I didn’t sing either). And one of these days I’m gonna! Maybe… Thing is, however bad it gets, there’s rarely a time when church isn’t right. And by ‘right’ I don’t mean “horrible …Read More

Thank You

By January 16, 2014 Blog

Hospital appointment this morning and 17 days in, we’re cancelling this round of IVF.  For some reason the meds aren’t working – and as it’s never happened before, the consultant doesn’t know why, or where to go from here. Can’t find the right emoticon for the moment.  But one thing that’s there is this: gratitude. Thank you – for all your prayers and support. It’s not the news we wanted, but those prayers have been answered in a huge way. Here’s …Read More

Colette’s Story

By November 24, 2013 Blog

When someone you care about is struggling with an eating disorder, it can feel hopeless.   You don’t know what to say or do. You try to help – but often feel useless and tempted to give up. Please don’t. Here’s why: Colette’s story: ‘When I was young mum took me to church each Sunday, yet the impression that I was given was all about rules, good attendance and cold buildings.  Once Sunday school finished for me we stopped going …Read More

Loving The Bruised

By November 21, 2013 Blog

Following yesterday’s post, I’ve been thinking about ways that churches can help those who are struggling.  Here’s a few –  and I’d love to hear yours: Expect that folks in your congregation struggle. They’re human and that means there’ll be eating disorders, self-harm , abuse, addictions and all the other bits and pieces of normal fallen humanity.  (This is what we believe, right?) So.. Model weakness yourself: Obviously be wise about what you share, but beware of a leadership model …Read More