When Jesus Isn’t Enough

By August 8, 2013 Blog

A question from J, after yesterday’s post. ‘What happens when that’s still not enough, when no matter how much you believe it should be and it is, Jesus, God, Christian faith, Christian hope hasn’t yet been the solution? It’s the text book answer, the right answer, but it isn’t answering it this time. It’s the answer I would give to anyone else, the solution I would offer and advise, but it’s not cutting the cake for me. When you’ve tried …Read More

Depressing Evangelicals? Guest Post

By August 2, 2013 Blog

Does evangelical spirituality help or hinder those who are depressed? Glen asked this question a few days ago and got some great responses. Here’s one from Paul: Evangelical culture so often puts a deep emphasis on internal ‘states’ rather than simple life practice and structure. When the emphasis is all on what is happening inside me – emotionally and psychologically – then it tends to be too demanding or uncontrollable. One of the core reasons that depression so easily attaches …Read More

GodFather

By July 4, 2013 Blog

We went for a counselling session today, (part of the failed ivf package) and the word I came up with was ‘useless’. Not the counsellor – she was very nice. – Me.  I wasn’t pregnant a month ago and I’m not pregnant now. Nothing terrible has happened. Nothing dramatic has changed.But it’s like the switch marked ‘Emma’ has flicked and I can’t get it back on. Things to do.  But I can’t quite reach. A whisper that crashes like a …Read More

Anchor Man

By July 3, 2013 Blog

I always write my blog posts to myself first.  And this is no exception. 1. Friends are wonderful, whatever their experience.  But there’s something in talking to someone who has experienced the same struggle, that brings special comfort. They get it – and they’re still here. Before everyone else; this is true of Jesus. Whatever you’re going through.  Depression, singleness, addiction, bereavement, joblessness, infertility.  He has walked this path before you. Just before He goes to the Cross, he doesn’t …Read More

Keep Going

By March 4, 2013 Blog

Twelve months ago a friend of mine  took an overdose. In the weeks before, she wrote this: “I hate bulimia.I hate that it makes me do silly things like that. I hate that it makes me stick my fingers down my throat. I hate that it fools me into thinking I’m invincible. I hate that it fools me into thinking that even though chocolate rarely comes up, it definitely will this time.  IT WON’T. I hate that it leaves me …Read More

Missing! Reward Offered.

By February 3, 2013 Blog

LOST One Mojo. Star-shaped with distinctive orange stripes and a sparkly exterior. Answers to theme tune of Miss Marple and Eye of the Tiger. Also ‘Marvin‘. Marvin is small but fast. As well as being affectionate, he is needed for blogging, writing, marriage/friendship maintenance,  basic and advanced conversation, smiling, bin emptying and smiling whilst bin emptying. Last seen in November, (with unconfirmed sightings over the Christmas period). Caution:  May attempt to dispense purple jelly beans and will hug if approached. …Read More

Big Boys Don’t Cry

By January 23, 2013 Blog

At work they call him ‘The Boss’. A man’s man: built like a wall – or so we thought. He seemed alright to me.  Bit quiet, but he was never a big talker – even when we were kids. We’ve been through a lot together – but that’s life. Past is past, mate. Wipe off your lipstick and let’s get another drink. Twenty years and not a day off. ‘No time to be sick’. Nothing flustered him: angry customers, delayed shipments, …Read More

Muddling Through

By January 22, 2013 Blog

If you know something, but you don’t feel it, is it still the truth? Example.  I’m depressed.  No – I’ll wrap it so you can hand it back: I’ve been feeling a bit low. See what I did there? ‘Been feeling’.  Past tense. Old issue. Better now. ‘A bit’.   Like milk in tea.  Manageable. Civilised. No real dilution of hope. No need to pour the whole lot down the sink and start afresh. That would be silly. It doesn’t fit. Lovely hubby, loving church fellowship, living …Read More

Death to January

By January 10, 2013 Blog

January is a beast. A time of fresh starts, resolutions and beginnings.  But how do you make them, when you’re in the same body, with the same mind, the same relationships, the same job (or lack of), and same struggles? This month it’s harder to trot out the same excuses. Maybe it’s substance abuse. The festive season gave you a cover and an excuse. But unlike others, you’re still drinking or smoking or snorting. Jan 1, Jan 2, Jan 8…2012, 2013, 2030. Tomorrow …Read More

World Fair

By January 3, 2013 Blog

This year Has not yet started. Perhaps for you – but not yet for me. I’m not ready to step onto it.  I’d rather watch and shrink back and wait for it to pass. Already I’m sick of it. Weary. Heartheavy. Toppled by whispers. I need some hope.  And a fresh start. Options: 1. Learn to Love Myself.   If I stop wasting time on other people, I’ll unlock a valuable reservoir of energy that is currently sucking me dry. 2. …Read More