1. Hang the blame in mid-air. I’m sorry if there was a miscommunication. 2. Pin the blame on the other person’s feelings I’m sorry you feel this way… 3. Pin the blame on their actions I’m sorry. But there really wasn’t any other option after you did X… 4. Use a great big BUT. I’m sorry but… c’mon! What do you expect?! 5. Express so much grief, there’s no room for the feelings of the other …Read More
My daughter loves wearing trainers, so I took her to buy some new ones. The sales assistant offered her three options in her size. Purple ones (with glitter), green ones (with a robot trim), and finally, navy ones. They all fitted – (and they were all fabulous), but she wasn’t keen. ‘No, no, no.’ It was late and the shop was closing, so I asked, ‘Are you sure?’ ‘Yes. None of these.’ ‘Ok,’ I said. ‘If you’re not going to wear …Read More
Huge thanks to T for sharing her story, in this brave and honest guest post. I first got a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) about 10 years ago. It was in many ways a relief, as there was finally a single condition that covered the different, seemingly disparate, symptoms that I had battled with over the years. It also validated the reality that the feelings and thoughts that often threatened to overwhelm me, and led to destructive behaviours, …Read More
Back to school – for some, it’s great. But for others, (parents/carers and kids), it’s a nightmare. So what can you do to help an anxious child? Recognise that fear takes different forms. For one child it’s an obsession with getting everything ‘right’ … for another, indifference and refusal to try. As adults, we can take a step back. What is the child communicating with their behaviour? Are they trying to get attention because they need reassurance? Are they opting …Read More
Another stunning guest post, from Lizzie, who is training to be a curate. Thank you, my friend. “How many kids do you have?” Until recently, I’d have thought this was a pretty easy question. Mr 7 and Little Miss 1 have, after all, spent the day bouncing around like lunatics – you’d almost think it was nearly time for the 7 year old to go back to school – very much here, very much present. The truth is, for …Read More
We’re on holiday this week, so here’s one from the archives… One of the hardest things about doubt is admitting it’s there. Like inviting a flood; if I don’t believe this, then what about this and this and this? Does God hear my prayers? Does He care? Is He even there? It’s all well and good if you’re a self-proclaimed atheist. In this situation, the only way is up. But what if you’re the leader of a home group? …Read More
Dear 13 year-old me. First, the good news. There is an adult you and she’s doing ok. You will survive your exams. You live in a world without social media. In a few years, you won’t care so much about what everyone else thinks about you – but there’s some work for God to do first. You have a daughter AND a lovely husband. (NB: when the ‘love of your life’ dumps you, don’t panic. He’s not the One). You …Read More
Joshua 23:11: “Be very careful to love the LORD your God.” tell Him what you love about Him make a point of saying thank-you for the big and little things you take for granted sit in silence together keep talking. Before you go to anyone else, tell Him listen – really listen – to Him. (Don’t assume, limit or caricature Him). remind yourself of why you first fell in love share a good book. eat together. spend time with …Read More
– You say that you’re fine; but you know that you’re not – You’ve said ‘I’ll get better’ but you’re just getting worse. – Everything is terrible and it’s all your fault – Acting recklessly or putting yourself in danger – Forgetting to do big things that matter; like washing or eating – Not being able to make sense of anything – Finding basic tasks impossible – Using drugs, alcohol or damaging …Read More
1. It’s a chore. No! Thankfulness isn’t an exercise like flossing, to make you a more rounded person. It’s a whole new way of looking at the world. It’s a command and a habit and an opportunity. It is more than writing a list before you go to bed – though this might be a help. It’s risky and thrilling and it changes you and the people around you. 2. It’s based on the good stuff you’ve got. Thankfulness is much …Read More
