Surviving Christmas with an ED

By December 17, 2013 Blog

Christmas is a hard for time for lots of folks – not least those with eating disorders.  For starters, you’re often in a family setting.  This is lovely in some ways, but claustrophobic in others. Even though you (and they) may have changed, it’s remarkable how quickly everyone reverts to their stereotypes.  If you’ve a history of eating issues, that’s a lot of unspoken baggage, scrutiny and extra tension  – there is nowhere to hide. If you’re struggling and folks …Read More

Perfectly Imperfect

By December 3, 2013 Blog

Glen walks in on me weeping over a sandwich. ‘Are you okay?’ he asks. We watch as a  fat tear drops into the cream cheese. ‘No’. ‘What’s up?’ ‘I’m making sandwiches.  For tomorrow’s lunch.  They’re a disaster.’ He inspects a corner. ‘Seem fine to me,  Same as usual, right?’ Right. They are the same as usual.  But we’ve got Guests Staying. And the Guests will be eating these sandwiches. I open my mouth and close it again. I want to …Read More

Dear God, This Is Not A Prayer

By November 26, 2013 Blog

Dear God Hi.  Emma (Scrivener) here. Sorry I haven’t been talking much recently.  Don’t worry – I’ve been reading my Bible and stuff…but I just can’t seem to pray.  The words have dried up. It’s not that I don’t think prayer is important.  I do! And I can do it for others, but not for me.  When it’s talking about me, I feel a bit awkward. The little things are too little – but the big things are too scary …Read More

One of them days

By November 22, 2013 Blog

I’ve always felt that Thursdays should be exiled from the calendar. But yesterday made it official. Woke up late.  Forgot to put the boiler on so had a very brief and tremendously refreshing shower.  Hit my head jumping out. Came downstairs to find that the cat had broken through the door again. This time however, he took the flap with him – like a plastic necklace, except cat-sized.  Reapprended him, wedged between two posts in the garden. Ran for train. …Read More

Finding My Identity? Guest Post

By October 24, 2013 Blog

Guest post by Glen: “I know, I know…” she said, “I just need to find my identity in Jesus.” She seemed certain that this was the answer to her problems. She also seemed to despair of ever achieving the feat. Many people have spoken to me of their burden to “find their identity in Jesus. It’s the subject of countless conferences, sermons, books and blogs. But when I try to picture exactly what finding my identity will look like, I draw a mental …Read More

When Jesus Isn’t Enough

By August 8, 2013 Blog

A question from J, after yesterday’s post. ‘What happens when that’s still not enough, when no matter how much you believe it should be and it is, Jesus, God, Christian faith, Christian hope hasn’t yet been the solution? It’s the text book answer, the right answer, but it isn’t answering it this time. It’s the answer I would give to anyone else, the solution I would offer and advise, but it’s not cutting the cake for me. When you’ve tried …Read More

Even When It’s Bad, It’s Good

By July 8, 2013 Blog

I don’t know what your Monday looks like.  I don’t know how your week is shaped; or what you feel about the month ahead. Using my mystical powers, I predict there will be challenges.  Personal, professional, relational, financial. Some will be manageable.  Others seem insurmountable. Some will sneak up from behind; and some have been scheduled in advance. But whatever is coming: sickness, sadness, addiction, loss – here’s what we can count on. ‘I am the Lord your God.  I …Read More

Another Break-In

By June 24, 2013 Blog

Recently I’ve had the guest from hell.  Bloke by the name of Doubt. Big and mean and smells of smoke. Can’t keep his hands to himself, even though he knows I’m married. ‘You don’t belong with that Husband’ he says.  ‘You’re junk, like me’. I tell him where to go.  But even when I board up the doors, he seeks me out and breaks them down. At night I can hear him – scratching. Sometimes he retreats: but he rarely …Read More

Friends Wanted

By June 19, 2013 Blog

Loneliness isn’t necessarily wanting company. It’s being with other people and feeling like you’re different.  You can laugh at the right moments and wear the right stuff, but you’re always out of step.  You know it and they know it and the harder you try, the worse it gets. You cackle and clap and blunder in and withdraw, all the time praying:  ‘Like me dammit, LIKE ME’. I know a guy who grew up with hearing difficulties and as a …Read More

Let’s Stay Together

By May 31, 2013 Blog

Just back from a conference with some wonderful people. It’s been a time of restoration and renewal: it’s reminded me of the joy of fellowship and it has awakened in me a fresh hunger for the Lord. But I almost didn’t make it. And here’s what’s scariest: the thing that blessed me most – was also what almost kept me away. I long to connect with others: to know and be known in return.  But I’m just as frightened they’ll …Read More