By September 21, 2012 Blog

Thanks so much to those of you who have been praying for and encouraging us, especially with today’s Wewantohaveababybutlookslikeweneedhelp appt. It’s been a tough day.  Rattling of skeletons for me, what with the doctors and being poked and scraped and talking about – y’know, Lady Business. Equally difficult for Glen – for different reasons. More tests to come and some challenges for the future. No guarantees. Except this – we know that the Lord will help us at every stage. And whilst, there have been a few …Read More

Why ‘Good’ Girls Don’t Eat

By August 14, 2012 Blog

Here’s an excerpt I’ve written on ‘Eating Disorders + ‘Good’ girls’, (from this month’s ‘Woman Alive’): There are many reasons why someone develops an eating disorder. Culture, environment, physiology, life experiences and even geography may play a part. Another of these is personality type. The type I call ‘good girl’. There are, of course, sufferers who won’t fit this description. Similarly, most good girls will not develop anorexia. However, aspects of their personalities make them more vulnerable to it than …Read More

Forever Young

By May 6, 2012 Blog, identity

I wish we got training on how to do people. A little map that steers you through social minefields and tells you things like How To Start A Conversation, When To Let The Matter Drop, Avoiding Conversational Lulls and Not Making That Clicky Noise With Your Tongue. An app that plays soothing music during awkward silences.  That tells you when you’ve got spinach in your teeth or are standing too close. Some people seem to know these things automatically.  I’m …Read More

Fathers and Daughters

By April 9, 2012 Blog

When I was a little girl, there was no-one who could touch my dad.  In a confusing and threatening world, he was the still centre.  When he held me in his arms, no-one could hurt me.  Nothing could take me from him. My dad did a great job and I wouldn’t swap him for the world. But one of the hardest parts of growing up was the discovery that my dad was human – he didn’t have all the answers, …Read More

Depressed? Blame Success.

By February 27, 2012 Blog, identity

Do women struggle with success? Don’t lunge at me – yet. I don’t want to foist my insecurities on an entire gender. I’m not implying that all women are the same.  And I don’t mean that we’re not, objectively speaking, successful. Far from it. But. Despite our achievements.  Despite  the affirmations and the reassurances and the checked-off lists – can we accept it ourselves? Do you ever look in the mirror and say, ‘I’m a success?’ Do you ever compare …Read More

Cheap date

By January 21, 2012 Blog

Been reading today about a growing trend for twenty-somethings who are fed up with being set up. Parents and friends can be well meaning, but sometimes their efforts ‘on your behalf’ may leave you wanting to pull out your own eyes and emigrate.  (‘Ooooh – is that the door? Billy-bob – what a surprise! Have you met my single daughter, Mary-ann?  I’ll just pop some Barry White on the stereo and you two can get to know each other…’) I’m …Read More

Ping-Pong Praise

By January 6, 2012 Blog

In yesterday’s post I was reflecting on the ways in which we lie to each other: both upwards (‘hey, everybody! Come see how great I am’) and downwards (‘I’m a woorm, it was nothing, this ole’ thing? I just threw it on’ etcetc). Without wanting to make gender assumptions, in my experience women are more likely to lie ‘down’ and men to lie ‘up’.  (For a great analysis of this, see Kirsten’s comments). But when I consider the typical church …Read More

Bigging Up and Doing Down

By January 5, 2012 Blog, identity

Sitting in a cafe earlier, I was ear-wigging on two conversations to my right and left. (Research, I tell you, not nosiness). On my right were three business-men. In their pinstriped glory they exuded testosterone: from the shiny abundance of lego-man hair, to the palpable emissions of Manly Scent.  Man A necked a triple espresso as Man B gesticulated wildly at a pie-chart on his laptop.  Man C tapped notes into his glossy I-phone, punctuating B’s sales pitch with guffaws …Read More

When It’s Murder Being A Man

By November 21, 2011 Blog, identity

What does a ‘real’ man look like? The guy on the billboard, all pecs and ego? The metrosexual with guyliner and man-bag? A misogynist brute, enslaved to his hormones? Mr Fix-it, good with his hands?  The sports-mad Jock, just one of the lads? Is he the darling of rom-com hero:  sensitive, soulful and close to his mum? Or an all-action hero: hard as nails,  with no time for sentiment or weakness? Each day we’re presented with wildly differing images of masculinity. What we’re rarely shown is …Read More

Murder In Conversation

By November 15, 2011 Blog

A few days ago I sat next to a couple I’ve spoken to before.  The gentleman has always been very friendly to me and peppers our conversations with anecdotes and jokes. On this occasion I was working to a deadline, so couldn’t chat.  But as I listened to him berating his wife, I saw an entirely different side of his personality. For almost forty minutes, he ran her down. Criticised her appearance, complained about the coffee she ordered (and brought to him), …Read More